Archive | May 2014

Getting Sad, Then Angry, Then Arrested

I started to mourn everything in the hours after I found out who I was dating and supposed to marrying.  The next day I felt numb.  Ok, I was incredibly sleep deprived, but still….   I made plans with him like I normally would, I went to pick him up like I normally would, came back to my house like I normally would and slept with him like I normally would.  For once I was using him in reverse.  I felt nothing.  It meant nothing, but I wanted him to know that after the fact.  Immediately after instead of wanting to cuddle in the afterglow, I point-blank asked him who Mary was.  He looked at me like I was nuts.  Kind of like the tilted dog head look.  Then I asked him who someone else was and he again tilted his head.  I said you know, your exes?  He took in a deep sign and asked me how I found out.  I told him that was irrelevant but that I knew everything.  I knew how many exes he truly had and all of the kids he fathered.  And here he was telling me he was adopted, so alone in the world, longest relationship was about 4 years, never had kids, never married, working for the British government and owned his own medical records company.  I very, very much resisted the urge to just throw him out of my house in that moment.  I really did.  It would have felt SO good!  I wanted him to be up a creek without a paddle and I also partially expected him to just walk out of my house and I would have gotten great delight at the thought of him finding his way back to Cherry Hill (about a half hour away) all on his lonesome.  I think he knew that I had him by the balls in that very moment.  Instead of all of the excuses and the like that I truly expected from him, he started to talk about it.  He talked about some of his exes.  I asked him why he lied to me and he said that he knew that he needed to tell me soon.  We were having a baby and getting married.  He knew he would need his real name for the birth certificate and the marriage certificate.  I knew he was full of shit.  I work in labor and delivery!  I know that you absolutely do NOT have to list a father on the birth certificate and if you do, here in New Jersey they have to show ID in order to be listed.  After reading Mary’s book, it would explain his distance after I broke him the happy news just weeks before.  He probably wouldn’t have shown up for the birth as he didn’t show up for the birth of several of his children.  At one point he had two wives and 2-3 fiancées all at once.  His two wives and the nanny of the first wife were all pregnant within the same 12 month span!!!  I told him he was a man whore and he agreed that he was.  As he talked my inner voice wanted to shout out “BULLSHIT”!!!!!   To mean his mouth was flapping but I don’t know what was true and what wasn’t.  I would verify it with Mary later on.  He continued to talk and I told him that I couldn’t continue the relationship.  He feigned a hurt look on his face and said that he would never desert me, never turn his back on me and asked if we could be friends.  I told him yes but that I needed time to get over such egregious lies on his part.  He said he understood.  He had been renovating my son’s room and he packed all of his tools.  Him doing that was a relief because it meant that him taking his shit with him meant he never had to come back to my house for anything and if I never talked to him again a day in my life, I wouldn’t have to take it to him.  To me it was a win all the way around!  He started taking things out to my car on the assumption that I was going to take him back.  Ok, I’m not that big of a bitch despite him really deserving me to be.  I should have just told him to hop the bus with his guitar and tools or take the light rail. The image of him lugging that around amused me, but again I’m not totally heartless unfortunately. So I took him back to where I picked him up from and he still had to walk things to wherever he was going.  He told me that he still loved me and that wasn’t going to change but he understood that I needed to think about things.  In reality?  I didn’t have to think about a thing.  Not a single solitary thing.  I told him we could still be friends since he did get me through some tough times in the previous year, but didn’t mention all of the things that he had caused in the past year.  As he walked away, I continued to feel numb.  I needed to make a decision and fast.  The following day I made an appointment to terminate and I know I’m going to catch some flack for this.  I figured I still had a week to make a final decision, but deep in my heart I knew I couldn’t do it.  We had conceived this child under false pretenses.  At least on his part.  Had I known his past I would ABSOLUTELY not continue a relationship with him. He was a psychopath with mental illness being shown through several generations per genealogy research.  He also has no contact or is supportive of any of his dozen plus children (that are known, there might be others that aren’t known about) so why on earth would I think that he would support this child too?  I was already a single mom whose ex is only marginally in their lives and not at all by what he is ordered to see them or do for them, but who am I to force it on either party when it would only cause stress and strife?  Everyone knows how to contact everyone else and everyone knows where everyone else lives.  It’s not all that difficult.  I tried for a long time to foster relationships and I was tired of doing it. Everyone will learn on their own.

I asked the newly minted William Jordan (and not the Liam Allen her purported himself to be) what he thought I should do, what did he see for our future.  He said that he would support any decision I chose but felt like he shouldn’t choose for me.  Of course he flaked on giving me any real concrete answer other than the politically correct one which was none at all.  In terms of what he wanted for us long-term, he said he still wanted the same future we were planning, even if it went off course for a while.  He said that we could be “on a break” for a few weeks, a few months, a year………whatever it took for me to feel safe and secure again.  Frankly?  Nothing.  Once my pregnancy was over, I no longer had ties to him any longer and was absolutely free of him. I just needed to think about what I was going to do.  One thing I was absolutely sure about, one thing that I was so incredibly positive about…..I didn’t want anyone else to go through the hell that I had gone through in the year before. I just needed to figure out how to do that.

Mary is an absolutely special sort of soul.  She took me under her wing when I was ashamed, scared and really confused.  She got me to see that I had nothing to be ashamed of.  That I did nothing wrong but just trust the wrong man, a conniving man who is really good and slick at what he does. She told me that he tends to pick really stable and strong women because it’s a challenge to him.  There would be nothing fun for him to mentally challenge if someone was gullible and easy to fool.  It would be boring.  Her words were just so helpful to me that I will forever be indebted to her.  She is also the gatekeeper of victims, I hate to say.  One by one she put me in touch with more and more of his victims.  Each story I heard I realized that I had a tapestry of a story.  There were bits and pieces of each and every one of their stories in my story.  I was the culmination of it all.  I was so incredibly sad that there were so many.  They were incredibly sad that it was still going on.  It had been a few years since a victim had come forward to Mary so perhaps they all thought that he stopped or finally got his life together.  My take is that he went through women and either they got sick of his crap and dumped him before they found out who he truly was, found out who he was and were so ashamed of being conned that they kind of went into silent hiding or they did know and didn’t do anything about it.  I don’t know. I may never know.  I am hoping that by taking my story public, someone, anyone will come forward.  They don’t have to put a public face to their story the way I am or Mary has.  I want them to know that they’re not alone.  There are many of us, unfortunately. My hurt is still very new compared to some who have had years to come to terms with the damage that this man has done to them. I wouldn’t be as stable or would I have been able to make the choices I made in the weeks after finding out about him.

Nine weeks from the day that I found out the truth about William Allen Jordan, I had him arrested.  I worked with local authorities for weeks.  Pretending that he and I could work it out, pretending that he could rebuild my trust all the while printing out my backed up text messages and emails for the authorities and conversing with his exes to verify which stories he told me were true and which were false.  Every day that he and I met?  I would run back to them with his stories.  Even after a couple of weeks I didn’t want to scare him off, so I told him that I stopped talking to them because it was too overwhelming for me. I hope that the day he got arrested, that he realized that the whole 9 weeks since I found out that the tables were turned on him.  He may have suspected, he may not have trusted me.  It may have been a case of keep your friends close and enemies closer.  I was relieved to see him hauled away in handcuffs.  I slept so soundly in the 5 weeks it’s been since he got arrested. His other victims have expressed similar thoughts.  Not only can I sleep soundly that he will not manipulate me any more, but while he is behind bars, he’s not hurting other women, children or families out there.  He may try to manipulate other inmates or guards in prison, but I hope the see through his charm. I can only imagine what he has told the others there.  That I’m some embittered ex girlfriend with an ax to grind?  Hardly.  The evidence will speak for itself.  I guess it’s a good thing I’m such a poor listener when he said to delete “sensitive” emails.  Instead I backed them up and emailed them to myself.  I hope I’m the last he hurts for a very long time after this.  But first I hope he gets a lengthy prison sentence.

Rape by deception is a fairly new concept.  I know it’s setting a legal precedent out there but being the victim of such a crime, I’m certainly feeling passionate about it. No, I’m not saying that every man or woman out there who has an affair and tells their significant other that they’re single when they really aren’t should be open to prosecution when the truth comes out.  But in a case like this where he lied about his entire EXISTENCE and used those lies to rob me of my sanctity, my body, my knowing CONSENT!  I asked him why he didn’t tell me sooner.  He said he was afraid to lose me.  You think??!??!   He told me the “honest is the best policy” tactic ended up getting him burnt.  No kidding!?!??!   Someone with a lengthy track record like that deserves to be alone.  He will only bring misery to whomever comes across his path.  When you add up his victims plus his children who are also victims plus the established kids of the women he met (since he prefers single moms) and then add in the family members of each victim that he met, associates, etc across at least 5 countries and 3 continents, there has to be over 100 victims who have had some sort of direct contact with William Allen Jordan, Will Allen, Bill Jordan, Guillaume Allen, Liam Allen, William Jones, William Jordan and God knows how many other aliases he possibly has……………

Finding out….

After 11 months into our relationship, William Jordan made a fatal flaw.  He went to the bathroom and left his wallet behind.  He had been grooming his privacy and secrecy of his life in me for months prior to this.  I wanted to keep his trust but I also knew that something had been amiss for a while.  While one gut feeling told me to keep going in our relationship when he told me all about his wild background working for the British Ministry of Defense here in the United States, shuttling foreign dignitaries and embassy workers anywhere between New York City and Washington D.C., another part of me kind of nagged at me that something else was there.  I took a chance and looked in the wallet.  In it I found an ID that said William Allen Jordan.  He had told me that sometimes he was given the ID of other identities depending on what his mission was at the time.  I didn’t question it right away.  He was about to move in with me and my family, we were planning a wedding and our own family expansion.  After all he told me he was adopted off to England when he was about 2 years old due to abusive parents.  He told me he was never married, never had children.   I wanted to be everything in his life that he led me to believe he was without.  However, after bailing on me and my family for Christmas, New Years night and then flaked on Valentine’s Day plans, I decided to do an internet search on the name I had and what I found absolutely rendered me sick to my stomach beyond words. The first feeling I had was shame: how could I, a college educated professional, be so incredibly blind to what was in front of me?  How did I tolerate everything I tolerated for a year? The next feeling I felt was relief.  I know this sounds really strange, but the super high anxiety, stress and bizarre feelings that he had put me through were not my fault.  It was his.  He was the one who elicited those feelings in me on purpose.  He was a convicted pedophile, bigamist and con-man.  He had robbed several women and business colleagues of hundreds of thousands of dollars, fathered over a dozen children and had molested a child under the age of 13.  My daughter was 12.  A wide variety of thoughts went through my mind.  Did he select me because I had children?  Did he choose me because I was a nurse thus a steady job that pays decently?  Did he pick me because I worked night shift thus allowing him to juggle multiple women all at once?   To this day I truly don’t know.  I read article after article, I came across the book that his second wife wrote, The Bigamist and also found the website of its author, Mary Turner Thomnson.  I used the Contact Me form and did just that.  She wrote me back fairly quickly and asked if she could call.  I relayed her my number and we spoke for quite a while.  It was an immense comfort to know that I wasn’t alone out there in the world who had gone through this with the same man.  I couldn’t even say that it was just the two of us, but that there were over a dozen starting when Jordan was in his late teens.  He was 48 and not the 38 that he told me he was.  He was never adopted but born and raised in New Jersey, not quite a half hour from me.  He didn’t move to the US after being displaced by a hurricane in Mexico, but was deported to the United States after his convictions and subsequent jail term in the UK.  I didn’t know what to do with my new knowledge.  I knew instantly it was all over.  I couldn’t be with someone who was a psychopath/sociopath.  A chronic one and I started to do research on the disorder and found it to be unrehabilitatable. There are more sociopath out there than people with colon cancer.  The statistics were incredibly scary.  I binge read Mary’s book all night long, finding her story so eerily close to mine.   I just needed to decide what I was going to do.  I knew his reign of control over me was going to end and I knew with an absolute certainty that I wanted to confront him on it to see what on earth he had to say for himself.  Whatever I chose to do, I knew I needed to do it soon.  Time was of the absolute essence.

The psychopath and me

LiamMischeleWedding

 

This was the two of us at a friend’s wedding in 2013.  Liam Allen had told me that he was helicoptered in from of a meeting about the Eric Snowden incident.  He was “recalled” back to his “mission” at just after 1am that night.   Sure enough, the Snowden story made mainstream news a day or two later.

An introduction

Yes, I know I have an About Me page that has the basics of my story, so I’m not going to repeat it, but perhaps enhance upon it.  I’m currently a single mom to two wonderful kids; a girl and a boy who absolutely enrich my life beyond words.  While in the throes of separating and inevitably divorcing their father, I had decided to cast out a net to try to find someone just more for companionship than anything.  I didn’t want to play the field but find someone who I could dedicate my time solely to rather than flit around person to person and only getting to know them superficially.   I met a man who first told me his name was Guillaume but went by Liam since he found the name Guillaume to be incredibly difficult to deal with in America.  Liam Allen to be exact. Conversation flowed so smoothly, so wonderfully.  He seemed to be everything that I could ever want.  He was charming, smart, seemingly intelligent, well read, had a wide variety of musical tastes as well as being musically inclined.  He had told me that he was born in New Jersey but his mother was abusive and after nearly putting him in a scalding hot bath where his father intervened, he was packed up and shipped to distant relatives in England where he was raised by a pair of Oxford University Professors.  He told me that his needs were always provided for, but they were not particularly caring or nurturing.  They had older children and he felt like in their minds they had done their job as parents and raising children and that he was a charity case.  He attempted to illicit reactions out of his mother to no avail.  Once he graduated high school he went to Oxford University in the footsteps of his adoptive parents and then joined the British Military to pay off some debts incurred through his college education.  From there he was recruited into the Ministry of Defense and took on a job that I was told was to go forward of missions, befriend the locals who would agree to act as look-outs and scouts for their targets which were terrorists that were fairly high-ranking in the post 9/11 era.  His scouts would tell them the coast was clear and he would personally pilot the drones remotely in order to attack their intended target.   He did this for many years until one mission involved a target that had women and children in the vicinity.  The scout recommended scrapping the mission for that night and Liam agreed.  However his superior disagreed and told him to attack as planned.  Not willing to risk innocent lives, he flew the drone into a nearby barn.  His superior then called him unpatriotic, undisciplined and fisticuffs ensued.  Both were discharged from service with the pensions that they had accrued to date.  He took his money and went to Mexico where he met a woman and fell in love.  Planning to marry her and take on her daughter as his own, they were unfortunately displaced by Hurricane Alex and after an arduous journey to the British embassy, he was flown back to New Jersey where his birth parents resided.  While trying to trudge through the immigration paperwork and such, he was notified that his girlfriend in Mexico was cheating on him.  He called her, she didn’t deny it and they agreed to break up.  He then asked for guardianship of her daughter in order to pay for private schooling.  He then sunk his money into a property in southern New Jersey outside of the Philadelphia metro area as an investment so to speak..  After a couple of years he then met me online and the rest is history.  I will tell bits and pieces of my story along this blog getting to the modern days of the criminal and civil trial that I’m going through right now.  There is a documentary that has already been done on him called Evil Up Close, another documentary to be shown on the Discovery ID channel this fall or Sky1 in the UK also for this fall.  William Jordan will be featured as one part of a ten part series called Handsome Devils.  I am currently working with Dateline NBC on a special about my story and there is another production company who also wants to make a documentary about this story between the 15 victims that are known and the 13 children that are known.  I am sure there must be other victims out there who may not have even known that they were dating a psychopath/sociopath.  Perhaps they were too full of shame like I was when I first found out the truth.  Perhaps they didn’t know where to turn or the articles written to date didn’t have a far enough reach.  Time will tell.  For now he has been incarcerated for 4 weeks and 4 days and hopefully no chance of getting out soon.   There will be more to come.  Thank you for reading!