Hullabaloo Over Rape By Deception

Ok everyone CALM DOWN.   Somehow the law that I had been working on with my local Assemblyman Troy Singleton got leaked out to the media and then it spread like wildfire across the internet but very few of those news sources actually came to me or Troy Singleton for a comment or information about a back story.  Someone only minimally involved made some comments but it really did the law NO BENEFIT and it’s in danger of being lost in a committee if any even picks it up thus losing it before it even takes off.  Things are done in certain orders in certain ways for a reason.  We wanted to get a little further in this process before going really public with it and because of the “well-meaning” intentions of a few people (or a group who just want to see this buried away), it’s done a great disservice.

I went to some websites that carried the “news” (I refuse to plug them here) I read some of the comments and carried out some banter with some of the people who were making comments to the various articles.  In a local Trenton paper, in the morning there were 46 comments and by the afternoon there was over 400.  I had to work Monday night so I only participated for a couple of hours, but I wrote to some of the writers of the articles and told them the back story and some of them then had a better idea of what the law was about.

Going to the comments, some of the most scathing comments were of course made by men and were mainly about 2 things;   looks and wealth.   They would say that women who wear push up bras, have breast implants, wear make up, have extensions/weaves or wear wigs should be subject to prosecution or that it’s a “gold diggers law” meaning a woman thinks she’s getting a man with  money and really he’s living in mommy’s basement.   Ok people, that is NOT what the law is about.  What in the hell happened to our morality in this world?  Since when is it ok to lie to people to sleep with them?  It’s not about LOOKS you self-centered, materialistic people.  It’s about getting involved into a relationship, and wholly deceiving the other person.  Not a one night stand kind of thing, but where either a man or woman believes that they have entered into a rewarding, fulfilling relationship and find out that their partner is a complete farce – kind of like in my case with William Jordan and his 10,000 aliases.  In my case I spent over a year of my life with a man where nothing he told me was true.  We were planning a future, a wedding, a child, moving in together and my life was completely turned upside down by the Mount Everest pile of lies.  The ONLY thing real about him was his appearance.  I gave my affirmative permission to Liam Allen, not William Allen Jordan.   I gave permission of my body to the man I thought I would be spending my future with, not the con artist, pedophile, bigamist that I found out he was.

Some people commented that I had to have been incredibly stupid and “buyer beware”.  Um, I did my research – repeatedly.  Phone numbers, addresses, email addresses, versions of the email, the name I had, any inkling of information that I had – I researched it all the time, but only ever had pieces of a convoluted puzzle. it wasn’t until I had his REAL name that the puzzle pieces fit together to make the whole picture.  He was so good and cunning at his lies, had plausible excuses for anything and everything.  I’m not some desperate whore who just sleep with anyone and everyone.  Get real, people.  I am not out to have every white lie telling person arrested for rape by deception, but there certainly needs to be a law out there that helps people who ended up in situations like mine – extreme situations.   Troy Singleton and I are still tweaking the bill to get it just right, but it certainly didn’t deserve the ignorant response that was garnered.  I would have expected a more liberal state like New Jersey to have had a better response.   It’s shocking that more conservative states like Tennessee and Alabama can pass such laws, but NJ has a problem with it?  It is because NJ is wrought with people who are just serial liars?  Who the hell knows, but the backlash was absolutely unnecessary.  One of the few people who actually came to me, was the associated press and the following article was published in San Francisco..

In addition NO WHERE is this law meant to take away, demean or diminish what victims of violent sexual assault/rape have experienced.  This law is not meant to even align itself like it – it’s just terminology.  I suffered (and still do) suffer nightmares, have trust issues and still experience paranoid on a fairly regular basis.  I feel like i was raped repeatedly over the course of 14 months instead of one violent experience and I cannot get my sexual sanctity back from that man who did this to me knowing damn well what he was doing and who he was as well as what he was portraying himself to be.

If ANYONE has any questions or concerns about this law, I am not a hidden person.  I can be found on various social medias and also through this blog.  There is a contact me form, use it.

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2 thoughts on “Hullabaloo Over Rape By Deception

  1. “Ok people, that is NOT what the law is about.”

    While it’s great to have good intentions, law is a place where you have to be very careful about unintended consequences. And laws about sex very often have some extremely harmful unintended consequences, so I can see why many people are concerned.

    • I do understand that but the false accusations are often thrown out in the justice system. I have talked to many specialists and other victims of this type of crime. The psychological damage is just as severe as someone who has experienced traumatic rape. People who egregiously lie to bed a woman or a man is never ok and I want it to be illegal with consequences so that this type of practice can be slowly phased out of society once people realize that they can be convicted of activities like this. Change will only occur when victims stand up for themselves. So as long as a person is honest, they should have nothing to worry about.

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