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Slacking and Other Updates

Ok, I will be the first to admit, I haven’t posted an update in about forever!  So much has happened in the last few months.  As a start, I still reply to all comments that come to me here and to every email that comes to me through this site and for being diligent in sending your messages along, I thank you.  I get far less hate mail and far more support emails and messages for help or those who just want to tell their stories and know they are not alone.  I was hoping that this would be the end result at some point.  Kindred spirits all conjoining together.  I know that I felt really good to know that I wasn’t alone in my own situation with other William Jordan victims, to hear their stories, hear their feelings and see how they have overcome it all through the years and how it does get better.  It’s true, time does heal all things.  I am in a better place than I was 6 months ago and certainly in a better place a year ago when the whole legal drama ended with Jordan going back to jail. That, I will say, is where my healing truly began.

I started to write my book and when it got just past the part of his first arrest, to read back on my own text messages and emails became really hard.  To analyze it all through different eyes was hard.  I had seen where I was trusting too much, loving too much, putting faith in not just one basket, but a basket full of holes.  Gaping ones.  I was able to read conversations between us where he would constantly turn things around on me.  Everything was my fault.  I misinterpreted something he said, I took something out of context, I extrapolated something the wrong way, I was reading more into something than it was, I was being too sensitive, etc, etc, etc.  He would apologize before making a back handed comment that I wouldn’t recognize in my need for forgiveness and acceptance.  So I took time off from the book.  Then last summer I decided to do something crazy like go back to school in 7 week blocks instead of 15 week semesters.  It was very writing intensive and with the kids home from school, trying to be a full time nurse, full time mom and a student on top of it, the book got further pushed to the wayside.  After 2 semesters, I was really feeling a bit overwhelmed with it all.  I realized that online learning is not my cup of tea.  It has been 10 years since I graduated college the first time, but I was married and my daughter was young.  I wasn’t working so that I could focus on school full time and my daughter was in daycare on my school days and picked up by my husband while I studied with my my group of study buddies whom I still consider sacred friends to this day.  I need a classroom, but I am a different woman now.  I work full time nights, I am a full time single mom.  My mom watches my kids on the nights and weekends that I work so I can’t manage to saddle her any more to watch the kids so that I can attend classes and also adjust my work schedule to attend classes in person.  So now school is on hold and we are going back to the book.  I NEED to complete the book.  For starters, a lot of people are asking me about it because they want to read the details that no print or television interview can ever convey because there is just not enough time.  I also wanted enough time to go by that I could also go through the healing process of the last year rather than just the whole sordid story itself.

I am dedicating the year of 2016 as a good year.  It’s going to be a year of metamorphosis and change. It’s going to be life anew on many levels: personally, internally, professionally, educationally and any other way that I can find.  I did an interview with Fox News locally for a show called Chasing News.  It airs between Philadelphia and New York and either leads into the 10pm news or at midnight. It’s a show shot on GoPro cameras and then the various producers discuss the different segments.  So on a random day at Starbucks, me and the one producer, Jessica had an hour long chat.  We’re both local and she had come across my story. In the end Jordan, who has refused every interview that has gone his way – probably because he doesn’t want to get crucified more in the media than he already has been – said he just wants to move on with his life.  That his hysterical!!!  Hopefully he will never be able to move on with another female as long as he lives because he will NEVER change his spots.  After 3 decades of conning and deceit, it’s not going to change. Perhaps he should have made better choices in life.  He has made his bed and will have to lie in his bed of consequences forever.  As if the 20+ victims in his wake will ever be able to truly move on without a scar on their heart and their psyche. As if they will ever be the whole people they were before. Yeah, good luck with that buddy.  As is typical, the male point of view was very antagonistic and judgmental about the sex by fraud law.  It’s always the same misconception: that anyone and everyone will just go willy nilly accusing people of sex by deception.  Unfortunately for the truly ignorant, the judicial system doesn’t work like that.  You will have to provide your burden of proof, your absolute proof that you were deceived, intentionally for the sake of sex.  To prove that the other person acted truly out of malicious intent.  The police are not going to go around arresting every jilted lover out there. That isn’t even the purpose nor intent of the law.  It’s to catch those who go around and essentially catfish people egregiously. Those who lie about their identity, steal another’s identity in order to be with someone and for the purpose to deceive, harm, steal another’s identity, steal their possessions, cause emotional distress up to and including symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder as some victims have experienced in the aftermath of the most severe mental manipulators. Those are the criminals that I want to get off the streets.  The people who would serve to be a psychiatrist’s dream case. So just know, you are not alone.  You are never alone. I have received upwards of 300 emails and facebook messages over the last year of men and women who have been conned in their past.  Sometimes it’s a crime of the heart and mind and others have literally lost everything.  It astounds me as to how common these kinds of crimes are but next to none are prosecuted.  I have hope that in telling people the steps I took, that some people have sought justice in their own right.  For those who couldn’t, I know what it’s like to feel helpless because that’s how I felt before the authorities got involved in my case and it started to take shape.  I can feel that feeling like it was yesterday rather than 2 years ago.  The strong urge to want to stop this reign of terror but not knowing what steps to take, where to turn and who would help.  I also told very few people because I felt so incredibly stupid for falling prey to something like that.  I felt full of shame and regret for putting my family, my children and my friends through that year of fakeness and some people endure it for years or decades.  I have lost friends because of what happened and get judged about it all of the time, but I am in a place that I just don’t give a shit.   I took back my power by giving it a voice, by giving it a name and by going public about it.  Is it for everyone?  No. Everyone has to find their own healing process whether it be through therapy, art, working out, yoga, meditation, music or shouting it loud from the rooftops.  Find what works for you and roll with it.  I hope you find your inner peace.  Below is the Fox News interview:

Arraignment Day and the Counter Offer

I have been waiting for this day for weeks. Maybe months. The day William Jordan was arraigned officially on the charges that will actually stick to him. I knew going into it that the prosecutor was going to offer a plea deal of 4 years in state prison (of the 3-5 he is eligible for under my charges), a no contact order and restitution, which I am well aware that I’ll never see a dime of, but it’s just there for the sake of the possibility. The prosecutor was on vacation all of last week so the issues that I’ve had with the “miscommunication” had been shelved all week-long until today. I was having immense anxiety this morning as my phone calls went unanswered. I knew more than one media outlet would be there today, so I grabbed an iced coffee and headed out to the courthouse an hour early to talk to some people in advance. Once the courtroom was opened and everyone filed in, I chose my seat carefully. I knew there was a camera crew there, but I also wanted to not be in the eye view of where Will Jordan would be. I didn’t want to be behind the prosecutor’s table where he could look towards his attorney and catch a view of me over her shoulder. This way if I was behind him, he would have to blatantly turn around to see me and that would avoid any attempt at eye contact. In those minutes that I was sitting there, I’ll admit, I kind of lost it. I could just feel the emotion boiling up and I couldn’t control the tears that came. I hate any possibility of seeing him, of being in the same room, sharing even air space with that evil man. I am so thankful my mom was there and she held my hand as mom’s do and just told me that I was going to be ok, that everything was ok. She helped to keep me grounded in that moment and I reigned it all in and held it together. I wasn’t going to give anyone the satisfaction that he can still get to me.

My victim’s advocate came out to see me and asked if I wanted to talk to the prosecutor prior to the case. Of course while we were talking, the case was called, but without the prosecutor, they moved on to other cases until we came out. He told me that Jordan’s attorney wanted to counter offer something so appallingly ridiculous that I rejected it before he could get the entire offer out of his mouth: 364 days in county jail and a lifetime no contact rule that if he violated it, he could end up arrested again. Not only did that get a vehement no, but a HELL NO. I would rather he do the jail time and risk the contact with me than to let him out after such a short period of time so that he could hurt someone else quicker. I told the prosecutor, and he agreed with me that we would NOT settle for any deal that was less than 4 years. The prosecutor will only tolerate 2 more status conferences after today before demanding a trial and then Jordan can end up with 5 years instead of the 4 that we’re offering. Hey I have hours and hours of basic confessions on his crimes, so if he wants his own word vomit coming back to haunt him in front of 12 jurors and a courtroom full of spectators and reports, well please be my guess. The prosecutor told the judge today that there is this additional discovery that they had not yet acquired from me but that it was there and that they could acquire it within the next week or two. The prosecutor also assured me that he felt absolutely confident in all of our evidence that it would be a fairly slam dunk case. I feel the same way because I backed up so many old conversations, emails and was able to provide the bank records of the various bank transfers that occurred. That coupled with the audio and video I have? I have no idea how he nor his public defender can even think that he has a defensible case. Seriously? He has a long history of defrauding people for decades, what on earth ground does he have to stand on that doesn’t equate quicksand? None. I don’t know if he was waiting to see my hand of if he was just being his typical psychopathic/sociopathic self and trying to control everything around him: controlling my time, the prosecutor’s time, his own attorney’s time. At the end of the day, he didn’t take the deal, he pled not guilty and we’ll reconvene in a month.

I spoke with a couple of members of the media afterwards, notified Mary immediately of what transpired in the courtroom so that she could have immediate answers and she is also 5 hours ahead of me. I was getting out of the courthouse at 3:30pm my time which was 8:30pm her time. I always credit her with giving me my strength – or at least being the foundation for my strength in going forward with my case. The fact that she had the strength to be so public about her story – I would never have known the truth if she hadn’t made that choice. She takes criticism (as I have the last few months) with absolute grace and dignity. She doesn’t let harsh comments get to her. Her story allows me to go forward and keep pounding at Jordan and to not let myself get too down about some setbacks because I need to keep forward motion. I kept myself really busy over the weekend so that I couldn’t reflect on what was going on today and I had a chance to self reflect over the last 6 months since I found out the truth about Jordan. I think of the hot mess that I was in February through April and how every day was so stress riddled and how full of immense emotions I was then to the relief I felt after the arrest. I’ve really had a good 3.5 months to just be. I have also learned that I can’t do all things and be all things to all people all of the time. I needed to let a few things go to the wayside such as writing my book and working on my law. I needed to be a mom, work full-time and work on this case. I needed to be present while the kids were off for the summer. My son starts kindergarten this fall and I know that I can NEVER get this time back from them and will not allow Jordan to rob anymore time away from them than he already has. So I had a girl’s night with my good friend on Friday, took my daughter to the movies on Saturday and then went to Home Depot for supplies to build a firepit in the back yard. Sunday I took my son to a birthday party and then had a night out with great company afterwards. I refuse to let life stop or be paused because of Will Jordan. He robbed my daughter of 2 One Direction concerts last year, so what did I do? Got her One Direction tickets for this Thursday night in Philadelphia. I am going to make right all of the things that he did to her and she will not suffer. For the disappointments that he has given her, I’m going to turn them around. I want to continue to show my children that shit things can happen to you, but you can pick yourself up, turn yourself around, dust yourself off and keep moving. Yes, It’s ok to be mad, be sad, be angry but as long as you don’t stay in that spot, that’s what matters. I hope that I inspire her, inspire my son when he is older. Make them stronger people and less prone to ever be victims. I hope that In inspire someone else out there in the blogosphere to maybe get out of an abusive relationship or have the strength to get away from someone who may be manipulating them. It’s ok to be scared, it’s ok to cry, it’s ok to shout. Healing does come. For me it’s still coming. I wonder how I’ll be 6 months from now. Certainly in a much better place than now. I would LOVE to hope that this jerk will just take the damn plea deal and stop jerking me around because if he wants to fight it, by all means, I’ll go toe to toe with him and he will lose big time. I want to start working on my sex by deception law, but I want to be able to focus 100% on it and I also want to keep working on my book. I keep taking notes and journaling in short spurts. It will come eventually. This period will pass. I know it. More William Jordan victims may come forward. There may be new ones that come along once he gets out of jail (it’s inevitable). I’ll be here to support whomever comes along, past, present or future. Mary Turner Thomson and other victims have been a great source of support to me and I intend to pay that forward. In the meantime, this girl is going to keep moving steps forward and fewer steps backwards. Until next time……

Fun, Sun and Prosecutor Hell……

Ok, how irritating that the post that I have been working on for a WEEK totally got lost when I clicked publish and didn’t save as a draft!  What the hell????  Now I have to try to recall a week’s worth of writing at midnight.  I will try to recreate it, but without all of the links I had searched up. *AGGRAVATED*

Ugh, to start at the beginning.  Yet again.

Let me start with our trip down to the Jersey Shore.  First time this season.  The summer hasn’t been super hot and that day the weather was perfect but coming off some stormy days with cooler weather so the ocean was a bit chilly for my liking.  Around 62 degrees when I prefer it around 72.  We played in the sun, in the surf, found live oysters and little burrowing sand crabs (although I really don’t know what they’re really called).  We were eating lunch and some Kamikaze seagull divebombed at me and took my half a hoagie right out of my hands as I was taking a bite!  No joke!!!  Then several other seagulls were fighting over the bits.  The tomatoes were the only things left behind.  Crazy!!!  My mom said that when another family were all at the sea-side, they pecked into a bag and ate their food and my daughter said she saw one flying with a snack sized bag of Doritos.  New Jersey seagulls are NO JOKE!   They are the squirrels of the beach.  Pesky things!

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So my kids are 13 and 5.   I took them to our local county farm fair for fun, farm animals, pig races, some rides and all kinds of other vendors.  We ate fried foods, drank root beer out of steel mugs and had a great time!

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Next I had some follow-up filming for the national show that should be airing next month (air date to come soon!).  It was footage that will be cut into the big interview that I did a couple of weeks ago.  They rented a farmhouse from the 1700’s for 2 days.  I drug my daughter (the 13-year-old) with me that day to kind of have a behind the scenes sort of thing going on as well as some fun on the 40+ acres that the farm has to offer.  Not only is there an Inn in the original house, it’s a working p fa and a nature day camp.  It was truly breath-taking and my daughter loves to take artsy photos using different light and filters.  It was super hot that day and the filming day was long (about 10 hours).  The crew was fabulous, the food delicious and it made me seem a bit less awkward.  Of course any day with a glam squad is a great day!  Here is the house we filmed in.

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Next came the American Airing of “Handsome Devils” which aired here on Investigation Discovery.  It filmed over in the UK last fall featuring primarily the story of Mary Turner Thomson and Will Jordan and all that he did to her, but it also featured a short bit about his other wife and my own.  When I had found out who Liam Allen truly was, Mary put me in touch with the production company who was already in post-production on the show.   I did a short Skype interview with them, of which only a short, edited version was shown.  It was also slightly inaccurate saying that he was arrested on theft, when really he was arrested on sexual assault by coercion, theft by deception and impersonating a government official.  I know the media only has so much time and space for things but ONE media outlet has yet to get it completely correct yet.   I read some of the comments about the show and was shocked to see how many were negative, painting the victims as gullible, missing the red flags, desperate and naive. It’s hard to explain that unless they have lived it, they really can’t judge effectively.  They really shouldn’t judge at all.  The story was done chronologically in Mary’s story and some of the information was figured out after the truth came out but was still relevent to the story such as the high chair tipping incident.  Just understand that editing is done on purpose.  It’s a decade of information cut to 42 minutes.  You’re not going to get the whole story of what this man did to Mary, to “Michelle” and myself in just that short amount of time.  It’s meant to be a glimpse, not the whole picture.  I had to work the night it was live, but watched it on my DVR the very next morning.  It brought back a lot of raw emotion from the spring.  Towards the end I was violently shaking.  I had a lot of friends at the tip of my fingertips that I was texting and facebooking with who helped me through it.  Those of my friends who saw it, gave great feedback on it.  It gave them a different view of what Will Jordan is capable of doing and they were horrified.  Rightfully so because it’s horrifying!  It’s why I feel so passionate about stopping him.  For all of those victims, for the victims we don’t know about yet and for the future victims that are inevitable. Keeping the word going is what is going to educate people to psychopaths like this one.

Had a going away party for a co-worker whom I am going to miss dearly.  We didn’t have her for long, but she brought us fun, with, laughter, wisdom and 3am dance parties to get our blood moving.  I will have snazzy scarf this fall and winter thanks to her I can never hear Pharrell’s Happy without thinking of her just busting out in a dance mid-shift.  Wherever she goes next is going to be one lucky place to have her!

Speaking of work, it’s been nuts!  I know summers are busy but the last week has just been a hodge podge of everything and anything that crosses our threshold.  I’m just so lucky and privileged to work with such a great team of nurses, doctors, techs and secretaries that are just such an amazing cohesive unit.   It’s been an amazing 2.5 years with them and I hope for many, many more in the future.

This brings me to this past Monday.

So I had a pre-arranged phone conference with the prosecutor on my case this past Monday.  We talked about expectations and I again brought up the possibility of extra charges and what kind of time we were looking at. He said that Jordan could get 3-5 but was going to offer 4 in state prison for a guilty plea. He said that the case was somewhat mishandled at the local level and that the time frame had passed for certain things (like a search warrant). I asked him directly if he was going to offer a plea deal at the upcoming court date and he said he may.  I asked about extra charges and he told me verbatim “I can only prosecute the charges I have”.  Ok then.  I got some advice and went back to my local police department and spoke to a detective the next day. He was angry at the accusation that they mishandled the case and said he would be talking to the prosecutor.  I told him he was more than welcome to and to keep me updated.  I told the detective that I had done some research and found some charges that applied to my case, but ultimately I wanted to try for luring which would let me have the Nicole’s Law restraining order back.  I had also asked the prosecutor about the fraudulent credit cards that Jordan had on himself when he was arrested.  He said that it would be up to one of the arresting bodies to pursue that, more than likely Cherry Hill since they were the first ones to arrest him.  He said I wasn’t the victim in that case and the banks hadn’t come forward so…….    So what?  So it’s ok for him to have them?  The banks have thousands if not millions of customers.  People are delinquent on payments all of the time.  It goes to collections.  I am sure notices have gone to his home.  He may even have it set up for automatic payments since he had bank accounts that had actual deposits in them and a good sum of cash on him when he was arrested.  The various banks may not know nor care at the moment.  If anything, his accounts are only 3 months past for crying out loud.  So, it would be ok to hand them back over to him to continue to defraud these banks?  Not small banks either.  We’re talking Bank Of America, PNC, American Express and Discover.  This is at the very least.  I have proof that there have been other banks involved in his fraudulent activities.  The prosecutor said he would follow-up with Cherry Hill and guess what?  So am I.

Lets cut to today.  I’m taking my daughter and her friend to Starbucks and off to grab some groceries when the detective calls me.  He followed his chain of command who talked to the prosecutor who said that there had to have been a “miscommunication” between him and I on Monday.  Apparently the prosecutor IS able to add additional charges.  He point-blank told me Monday he couldn’t.  So what is the truth?  I told the detective that I was told otherwise or else I wouldn’t have gone to them in the first place.  Here it is 3pm on a Friday afternoon when the prosecutor is going on vacation next week and NOW it’s suddenly revealed that he could have added the extra charges???  He KNEW that I wanted every little thing possible charged against him, that I wanted to keep him in jail as long as possible, protect myself and the rest of society from him as long as possible and to keep the restraining order for crying out loud.  I just want to feel safe for a while after a year of paranoia, lies, deceit and fraud.  I don’t know what this man is going to do when he gets out of jail.  Will he have an ax to grind?  Will he feel vengeful?  The last time he was deported away.   I’m right here.  I’m going to be right here.  It’s maddening to have this kind of thought process anymore.  Trying to think one step ahead of a psychopath.  I did it for 9 weeks while setting him up.  It was emotionally racking and exhausting.  I would like a good, long break from that kind of mentality.  The ability to de-program the harm he did to my mind.

I am aggravated that I have to fight the system every step of the way.  I didn’t expect it to be this hard. I feel like i have done more legwork on this case than the prosecutor has.  I highlighted pertinent texts after hundreds and hundreds of pages, got the exact pages of my bank records rather than just printing a bunch out and letting them figure it out.  I got them the contact info for the UK authorities, everything.  Then to NOT tell me he could bring extra charges?  For what?  What purpose is it to evade me?  Did he not think I would not take the extra step to go back to my police department?  Did he think they wouldn’t take the extra step and follow-up with him?  Now he’s on vacation to CONVENIENTLY come back with ONE working day before we go to court.  The timing of all of this is blatantly convenient. Why does it have to be so hard to get justice?  Why is it not victim protection, victim advocacy or victim friendly?   Seriously the more I am finding out, the more it sucks. It’s like being hurt by the people who are supposed to bring you justice?  UGH!   I just wanted to scream, curse and throw things but was in the car with 2 teen girls who just wanted a couple of frappuchinos and cake pops.  I did call the prosecutor’s office when I got home and of course, did not receive a reply.  I will be calling my victim’s advocate every day because I am sure that this files aren’t just sitting around collecting dust for a week.  There has to be someone overseeing the cases.  I only have until the 11th.  There will be alleged status conferences if he doesn’t take the guilty plea on the 11th (if it’s offered) and then trial if he chooses to absolutely fight it. I am hoping not.  I hope he takes the guilty coward’s way out.  But first I have to keep fighting the system and hope that people just stop lying to me outright or trying to pass the delegation of duties off to each other and just do their job!

Updates to come soon!

Needing Direction

I am having a really lost and misdirected week. First of all I am only one person. I am a single mom, work full-time nights and am trying to write a book, keep up with filming schedules, emails, texts, phone calls from various directions and the advice of people who may have more experience in dealing with the legal system than I have. Who am I? I’m just a victim trying to right a wrong. Trying to make it easier for victims of people like William Allen Jordan to prosecute their offenders. I don’t want another man or woman to have to deal with the legal bullshit I have had to deal with the last 4 months of my life. It’s exhausting. Victimizing the victim is absolutely wrong, wrong, wrong. However, that is what the justice system insists on doing, at least to me.

Let us start with the Burlington County Prosecutor’s Office. The help I am getting from them? Very little. I have gone over the latest revisions of sexual offenses and some of them may fit to where I can keep my Nicole’s Law restraining order, but they keep knocking it down over and over again. I cannot double jeopardy Will Jordan on sexual assault by coercion but I am trying for anything else: sexual contact, aggravated sexual assault, luring or enticing……something! Everything I suggest to Steve Eife just gets knocked down telling me that there are holes in my law. He recommended to just talk to my legislators in order to try to get a law passed for the future. I told him I absolutely intend on doing that but at the same time I don’t want to let this go for MY case. So I am trying to find out where my senators and legislators stand on crimes. I don’t care if I have to email and call them every single day, request 100 meetings, I am going to do it. In the meantime I really don’t know what to do formally to try to get the prosecutor’s office to bring up a different charge that fits. I know that some do, but it’s a little vague and the interpretation can go my way. They just aren’t willing to try. I did receive notice that arraignment is coming up on August 11th. I know that there is going to be a pre-araignment for discovery to be passed from the prosecutor’s office to Jordan’s attorney. They still have YET to get my hidden camera footage where Jordan basically admits all his wrongdoing with multiple victims. Of course he tried to make it seem like it was the faults of the women but he admitted he was no angel. Some of the things on the videos are chilling. What he planned to do in the future to escape his past, all of it is on video. If I can’t totally get him to the full extent that I would be content with then I will just continue to go to the media and make sure that he and his crimes are known coast to coast to men and women everywhere since his crimes didn’t just involve scamming women but men that he was in business with as well. He has no qualms telling associates that his wife is sick with cancer and dying or telling me that his mother was on death’s door to get out of obligations with me and to scam me of money to pay for an ambulance transfer. I am starting to believe that HE was the voices that I spoke with last summer into fall from the “Ministry of Defense” claiming to be Tom Chalmers and Marcus. I am also getting close to finding other victims and having others press charges against him as well. The more charges there are against him, the more time he can be put away for. That’s my first goal: keep him away from society so he can’t hurt anyone. Plus if he is behind bars, I know that both me and my family is safe from him coming after us after he gets out. I would love to think that he wouldn’t try to come after me when he gets out of jail, but there is no guarantee. I would like to think he is more scared of me continuing to expose him than I am of him. Honestly I don’t know. The last time he was charged with fraud, weapons offenses, failing to register as a sex offender and bigamy, he was deported thousands of miles away from his victims. I don’t have that. I am not moving out of the country like another one of his previous victims. I am here. He will be here. It’s really unnerving, to say the least so that’s why jail gives me security for a little while.

I am feeling kind of lost. I don’t know what to do, where to turn, what steps are the right steps to take next and hold my temper while trying to explain things. A lot of people have a lot of ideas and opinions but nobody can tell me if they’re the right ones to take. I don’t want to make enemies of people who can help me down the line. I want to follow the proper chain of command, the proper channels without bypassing a chunk of people who will end up pissed off at me for going above their heads without consulting them. I also don’t want to beat my head against useless walls and contact people who can’t even help me to begin with. It’s so hard, frustrating and makes me feel a little overwhelmed and a bit hopeless. I am more than happy to pound doors if they’re the right doors. I know that there’s no guarantees out there and that life isn’t fair, but I need to try to try the right way. Not the impulsive way or the way that other people think I should do it without knowing whether it’s the right way or not. It needs to be done smart, with careful thought. I feel like there is a limited amount of time and the clock is ticking so fast. On the other hand, I also need time to breathe. My work week was absolutely psychotic this week and the time off I do have has been spent doing things with the kids since this is our last summer before my youngest goes off to kindergarten this fall. I just have to find a way to just make sure that I can devote time to everything to everyone in the time that I have left that isn’t taken by work, family, sleeping and the kids. I know it doesn’t make a lot of people happy but it leaves with very few precious hours a week. I just wish this was easier and the fact it isn’t is really overwhelming. More than I thought it would be. So the one day off I have (today) I am spending it trying to research laws and prepare letters to send off to my legislators and other people who may be able to help me along the way. However it’s at the expense of doing things with the kids and I feel guilty about it. As soon as someone finds a clone feature, please pass me the info!

As an aside, the Discovery ID channel show about William Jordan is airing this Thursday at 9pm EST. There is also going to be a follow-up article with The Daily Mail that is supposed to be released before this Discovery ID show, so once it breaks, I’ll post the link to it. Please share this blog to everyone you know, especially if you live anywhere between New York City and Washington DC. I am really eager to find other victims out there and let them know they aren’t alone. That what he did was wrong and possibly get them to press their own charges against this guy so we can keep him in jail even longer. If they don’t feel comfortable with that, I understand. It’s not for everyone, but I know I feel very passionately about it. Thank you for all your support to everyone out there.

The Big Interview and Results

So let me go in chronological order. I will start with my big sit down interview for a program that is going to air nationwide, date to be determined. It was at a beautiful home about a half hour north of me. It was really great. I have been working with the producer basically since my story broke in the media and she has been so super amazing to me through this whole process. We did hair, make up, a car service. It was really nice and it feels so tremendous that they feel so strongly about my story, about me advocating my story out to the world and informing people about my cause. It was hours of filming that ran over and as nervous as I was, they all put me at ease fairly quickly. For my first ever interview like this, I appreciated all of their feedback and calming nature. I am forever indebted to them on this. So now they have to cut down my interview, talk to some other people and splice it together to fit an hour format. It’s changed my view on how news programs come about and all of the hard and diligent work that comes from it. They also have continued to do some digging on my behalf and gave me some new info that shocked me but didn’t surprise me. I’m holding it close for now.

For whatever reason the grand jury did not convene last week and according to my victim’s advocate from the original grand jury, it goes up to a judge for review and then back to grand jury for the final indictment. So instead of me getting answers last week, I didn’t get answers until this morning. Deep breath in and exhale. The grand jury did not indict on the 2nd degree sexual assault charge. They did indict on the theft and impersonation charges which are 3rd and 4th degrees. I was absolutely devastated. This is the big charge that would get him the most jail time, which secured me a Nicole’s Law restraining order, which is what would have gotten him to be forcibly registered as a sex offender at long last. All of the above is gone. So he is looking at and average of up to 5 years in state prison for this. I had a long conversation with the Burlington County Prosecutor on this case and it was a lot to absorb in terms of the process. He told me that my charge didn’t exactly fit because I didn’t have force, bodily harm or threats. In terms of coercion, I wasn’t “mentally incapacitated” and he said that the law specifically says that this means by intoxication, hypnosis or anesthesia. I find that hard to believe that it can’t work in the terms where I had absolutely no idea who I was having sex with. He agreed that William Jordan is the scum of the earth and we both agreed that this is only temporarily stopping him. That once he gets out of jail he will start-up again, maybe a little more trepidly but he will no doubt scam again and I can just make sure that it’s incredibly difficult for him to lead anything other than a lawful lifestyle and inform women all over the area of his cons, schemes and games. Enough is enough. 30+ years and over a dozen people later, it is enough. Time to grow up and take responsiblity for life. It’s got to be tremendously exhausting to live that kind of life on a daily basis and to more than one person at a time. I was exhausted emotionally from dealing with the by-products of his psychosis. Being gaslighted and love bombed sucks. It sucks the life out of you, the hope, your efforts, emotions. It’s a life lived in daily anxiety, stress, depression and only snippets of love, life and laughter. I see that now. At the time it was seriously hour to hour in terms of dealing with him. He is such a smooth talker that when we were together he somehow made me think everything was going to be ok. But when reality hit and I had a chance to decontaminate from his love bombing, I realized that it wasn’t going to be ok. Now do this over and over and over again on a near daily basis. That’s when I actually heard from him. IF I heard from him. I know that I need to keep working on a law that encompasses rape by deception, sex by fraud, something. I need to protect his future victims. His past victims. Myself. My daughter. My son.

I told the prosecutor how afraid I was of him ever coming near me. I don’t think he would be so stupid as to mess with me ever again, but I can’t trust that. He has never been put back into the same society as his victims nor have his victims been in the same vicinity as him. One actually moved out of the country to escape him. That’s pretty severe! I also expressed my fears of him fleeing the area. He said that he would be more than ready to extradite from wherever he attempted to flee from. That he doesn’t always go after bail jumpers, but for this one he would make an exception. He would be more than happy to tack on more time, more charges, anything that could be MORE to keep him away from society. I was a bit relieved by that but at the same time I don’t fully trust the system as of yet. I don’t know if he was doing damage control because he knows I am still knee-deep in interviews and can absolutely blast him and the rest of the Burlington County Prosecutor’s Office for their lack of pulling through for a victim. Not just a single victim but the line of victims that have trailed behind me. I don’t know if he is going to go all Jekyll/Hyde on me once it airs or once production is done. I am hoping his words today were sincere, but that didn’t stop me from going to my contacts in order to take my next necessary step, even if it’s against them. I have a string of meetings, phone calls and conferences set up in the next two weeks. Yes, can Will Jordan apply to get his bail dramatically reduced? Yes. Per the prosecutor, they are going to fight to keep it as is. However it still falls on the judge’s discretion as to whether they exceed the guidelines or not. He also asked me if I planned on attending court appearances. I told him absolutely. Every bail hearing, arraignment, trial date, everything. I will be there. That is the luxury of me working nights. I can be available every day. I have sacrificed sleep before and stayed away 30+ hours on a near weekly basis to be with this man. I will not hesitate to do the same to see that he is prosecuted to the fullest extent that the law will give me and then make sure that he doesn’t con anyone for a very, very long time. Stay tuned…….