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Slacking and Other Updates

Ok, I will be the first to admit, I haven’t posted an update in about forever!  So much has happened in the last few months.  As a start, I still reply to all comments that come to me here and to every email that comes to me through this site and for being diligent in sending your messages along, I thank you.  I get far less hate mail and far more support emails and messages for help or those who just want to tell their stories and know they are not alone.  I was hoping that this would be the end result at some point.  Kindred spirits all conjoining together.  I know that I felt really good to know that I wasn’t alone in my own situation with other William Jordan victims, to hear their stories, hear their feelings and see how they have overcome it all through the years and how it does get better.  It’s true, time does heal all things.  I am in a better place than I was 6 months ago and certainly in a better place a year ago when the whole legal drama ended with Jordan going back to jail. That, I will say, is where my healing truly began.

I started to write my book and when it got just past the part of his first arrest, to read back on my own text messages and emails became really hard.  To analyze it all through different eyes was hard.  I had seen where I was trusting too much, loving too much, putting faith in not just one basket, but a basket full of holes.  Gaping ones.  I was able to read conversations between us where he would constantly turn things around on me.  Everything was my fault.  I misinterpreted something he said, I took something out of context, I extrapolated something the wrong way, I was reading more into something than it was, I was being too sensitive, etc, etc, etc.  He would apologize before making a back handed comment that I wouldn’t recognize in my need for forgiveness and acceptance.  So I took time off from the book.  Then last summer I decided to do something crazy like go back to school in 7 week blocks instead of 15 week semesters.  It was very writing intensive and with the kids home from school, trying to be a full time nurse, full time mom and a student on top of it, the book got further pushed to the wayside.  After 2 semesters, I was really feeling a bit overwhelmed with it all.  I realized that online learning is not my cup of tea.  It has been 10 years since I graduated college the first time, but I was married and my daughter was young.  I wasn’t working so that I could focus on school full time and my daughter was in daycare on my school days and picked up by my husband while I studied with my my group of study buddies whom I still consider sacred friends to this day.  I need a classroom, but I am a different woman now.  I work full time nights, I am a full time single mom.  My mom watches my kids on the nights and weekends that I work so I can’t manage to saddle her any more to watch the kids so that I can attend classes and also adjust my work schedule to attend classes in person.  So now school is on hold and we are going back to the book.  I NEED to complete the book.  For starters, a lot of people are asking me about it because they want to read the details that no print or television interview can ever convey because there is just not enough time.  I also wanted enough time to go by that I could also go through the healing process of the last year rather than just the whole sordid story itself.

I am dedicating the year of 2016 as a good year.  It’s going to be a year of metamorphosis and change. It’s going to be life anew on many levels: personally, internally, professionally, educationally and any other way that I can find.  I did an interview with Fox News locally for a show called Chasing News.  It airs between Philadelphia and New York and either leads into the 10pm news or at midnight. It’s a show shot on GoPro cameras and then the various producers discuss the different segments.  So on a random day at Starbucks, me and the one producer, Jessica had an hour long chat.  We’re both local and she had come across my story. In the end Jordan, who has refused every interview that has gone his way – probably because he doesn’t want to get crucified more in the media than he already has been – said he just wants to move on with his life.  That his hysterical!!!  Hopefully he will never be able to move on with another female as long as he lives because he will NEVER change his spots.  After 3 decades of conning and deceit, it’s not going to change. Perhaps he should have made better choices in life.  He has made his bed and will have to lie in his bed of consequences forever.  As if the 20+ victims in his wake will ever be able to truly move on without a scar on their heart and their psyche. As if they will ever be the whole people they were before. Yeah, good luck with that buddy.  As is typical, the male point of view was very antagonistic and judgmental about the sex by fraud law.  It’s always the same misconception: that anyone and everyone will just go willy nilly accusing people of sex by deception.  Unfortunately for the truly ignorant, the judicial system doesn’t work like that.  You will have to provide your burden of proof, your absolute proof that you were deceived, intentionally for the sake of sex.  To prove that the other person acted truly out of malicious intent.  The police are not going to go around arresting every jilted lover out there. That isn’t even the purpose nor intent of the law.  It’s to catch those who go around and essentially catfish people egregiously. Those who lie about their identity, steal another’s identity in order to be with someone and for the purpose to deceive, harm, steal another’s identity, steal their possessions, cause emotional distress up to and including symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder as some victims have experienced in the aftermath of the most severe mental manipulators. Those are the criminals that I want to get off the streets.  The people who would serve to be a psychiatrist’s dream case. So just know, you are not alone.  You are never alone. I have received upwards of 300 emails and facebook messages over the last year of men and women who have been conned in their past.  Sometimes it’s a crime of the heart and mind and others have literally lost everything.  It astounds me as to how common these kinds of crimes are but next to none are prosecuted.  I have hope that in telling people the steps I took, that some people have sought justice in their own right.  For those who couldn’t, I know what it’s like to feel helpless because that’s how I felt before the authorities got involved in my case and it started to take shape.  I can feel that feeling like it was yesterday rather than 2 years ago.  The strong urge to want to stop this reign of terror but not knowing what steps to take, where to turn and who would help.  I also told very few people because I felt so incredibly stupid for falling prey to something like that.  I felt full of shame and regret for putting my family, my children and my friends through that year of fakeness and some people endure it for years or decades.  I have lost friends because of what happened and get judged about it all of the time, but I am in a place that I just don’t give a shit.   I took back my power by giving it a voice, by giving it a name and by going public about it.  Is it for everyone?  No. Everyone has to find their own healing process whether it be through therapy, art, working out, yoga, meditation, music or shouting it loud from the rooftops.  Find what works for you and roll with it.  I hope you find your inner peace.  Below is the Fox News interview:

Parole vs. ISP?

Yes, you heard it here first.  William Jordan has applied for BOTH parole and ISP which is the intense supervision program AKA house arrest. My best educated guess is that he is hoping if one is denied he will get granted the other.  How do I feel about it?  I am PISSED THE FUCK OFF!!!!   He was assigned to 3 years in jail.  Apparently the time he has already served in jail is OK for him to apply for these programs so soon.   He has barely been in jail for just over 2 months and is still sitting in the NJ State prison sorting facility and hasn’t even been sorted to a state prison yet!  Oh and while he is there he continues to stalk one of his last victims in Vermont who states he calls her about 10 times a day from jail.  I thought this was impossible but apparently, you can barter for phone time by trading favors and goods to other inmates.  How this is allowed is beyond me.  I have told this victim to change her phone number, to refile for a restraining order, to file harassment charges in her jurisdiction and then file a complaint to the jail once she does that.  I have tried to follow up with her, but have received no reply.  I don’t know if she is possibly still under his spell, unable to really break from him, if she just doesn’t want to talk to me or if he has ceased the calls hopefully giving up on her.  God knows if there are others between the girl in Vermont and another girl somewhere else.  I am not ever fully sure.  I sent off multiple victim letters all against him receiving ISP as well as a timeline of his convictions, his victims and his crimes that weren’t prosecuted spanning the last 30 years.  I spoke to the parole board and had a 2 hour long interview with them and was pleasantly surprised that their questions really geared towards Jordan’s NEGATIVE aspects!   I had a LOT of information and have also passed onto them the same letters sent to the ISP people as well as the timeline to show that he is a HUGE risk to let back out into the community.  Not only that but I need more time to reestablish myself to where he can’t find me.  In the months that he has been jailed, I traded in my car for a new one and am planning on purchasing a new home.  I want a William Jordan free life.  I don’t want to look around my house and see projects he did, see places that we were, memories with my children……   I want a fresh start for all of us and where that takes us, I am not sure yet but have narrowed it down to a few communities that are safe, friendly, cost effective and great for the kids.  I want to be granted to get my feet settled enough from the immense turmoil this man put my life into to start over where memories don’t evade every facet.  I have to wait a month to hear from either ISP or the parole board, but I am hoping that it goes in my favor and then he cannot apply again for one year.  Not that I would EVER let him attempt to get out without a fight and once he does get out, let it be known that he will not be able to hide in the shadows and continue to con women.  He will have to atone for 30 years of broken hearts, children he never raised, monies stolen, lives torn apart, families askew.  He can’t just get out and live under the enabling wing of his parents.  Oh no.  It’s not going to happen if I have to take out a billboard with his name and face and crimes on it on a major highway.   I will keep educating the public about this man for as long as HE lives.  He is, after all, considerably older than me. I am starting to believe his parents should be put away for enabling his crimes after all these years.  He would talk to one wife on the phone and then talk to the other wife on the phone, asking both about their kids.  When Mary Turner Thompson had her first child by William Jordan, his parents actually CONGRATULATED her on having their first grandchild despite the fact that he had already fathered 6 before hers!!!!   I believe that they receive some sort of windfall of his deception.  Many victims have talked to them in the past and I nearly confronted his father after the truth came out when I had an outing with another victim who happens to socialize somewhere where his dad does as well.  He saw us together and the change in his whole demeanor was fabulous.   Score one for the Jordan Victims.

Other than being pissed off at the justice system, I have just been trying to live life day to day.  I took my daughter to New York weekend for a lavish girl’s weekend away and tried to get as many things off her “to do ” list as possible.  Lunch at Alice’s Tea Room, the Empire State Building, The Museum of Natural History.  We stayed in Time’s Square so we were all over there too.  Found a little bakery that had macarons which she loves, so we got a variety of pastries.  Went to Dylan’s Candy Bar and got a bunch of old favorites for me, candy dots for my son and she got her own bag of yummies.  Of course we caved and got a box of Bertie Bot’s Every Flavored beans from the Harry Potter movie.  Blech!!!   We tried grass, vomit, earwax, rotten egg (we gagged on that one), earthworm and others.  I think we spit all out.  Totally gross, but we did it for the experience.  Yeah, I paid $75 dollars for a breakfast buffet in our hotel, but it’s memories that last a lifetime.  It’s not about things bought, it’s about the memories that one has as they grow.  I know I have fond memories of day trips with my grandparents.  Of being at my parent’s diner and making new concoctions in the kitchen.  Lots of boredom, though, but we were together.  I spend the day at Six Flags with my son today.  I was so proud of him!!!  He went on a lot of new rides that he had never been on before, some of them he wanted to go on multiple times!  While I try to do things as a family, I know that they need to have their one on one time so that they can feel special, feel important for a day and have my total undivided attention.  I love that spring has FINALLY arrived to the northeast.  I hope that we have seen the last of sub-freezing temperatures and snow.  The flowering trees are in bloom, bulbs are blooming, the air is fresh, the grass is green again.  I just love it.  I wish I could take April to early June off of work and just be outdoors.

Slowly working on my base tan and as usual, working on a diet.  I feel like 80% of society is on a diet at any given time.Why can’t we just love the bodies we are in?  Thin, fat, average, bottom heavy, top heavy, double chin, sunken features, whatever it is, I wish that we could just love the bodies that we’re in.  I LOVE Lane Bryant’s new #ImNoAngel campaign which shows plus sized women in their lingerie (which I love) with fat, rolls and beauty abundant.  Feeling confident in my skin has never been my strong suit.  One day…..  I have been trying to immense myself in yoga.  The studio that I went to had an art and yoga day.  It was great!  Combined my 2 favorite things and I am finding yoga to be very cathartic.  One of the mantras that I take away nearly every session is to let go of the things that do not serve me.  This means the drama and stress over this case.  I am working on letting go, but it’s so damned hard.  At least with the ISP and parole on my heels and knowing that he could get out in as little as 2 months.  But in the short term, I take those mantras and make it the intention of my practice.  Let go, breathe.  Focus on the poses.  Always learning.  Improving. It’s ok to stumble once in a while as long as you keep trying…..   My studio had an art and yoga session and this was my creation!!!

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I did a photo shoot and an interview for South Jersey Magazine to print next month, I believe.  Some of the photos came out phenomenal.  I am still really shy with photographers and their direction.  They wanted fierce, strong, accomplished.  In retrospect, I should have given them more poses.  It’s a learning lesson.  Here is a photo of me prior to starting:

SJ Mag Pic

Well below are some photos of my life in the past few weeks.  I hope you enjoy them.  🙂   Until next time….

My kid’s Easter Baskets and my Easter Orchids – my favorite flowers!

Me feeding a giraffe some sweet potato sticks at our local Six Flags.  Very strange but lovely experience!

My new spring Origami Owl locket.  Totally me.  Free like the butterflies, beautiful flowers which I love and a little sparkle thrown in as well as a reminder to love life!