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Slacking and Other Updates

Ok, I will be the first to admit, I haven’t posted an update in about forever!  So much has happened in the last few months.  As a start, I still reply to all comments that come to me here and to every email that comes to me through this site and for being diligent in sending your messages along, I thank you.  I get far less hate mail and far more support emails and messages for help or those who just want to tell their stories and know they are not alone.  I was hoping that this would be the end result at some point.  Kindred spirits all conjoining together.  I know that I felt really good to know that I wasn’t alone in my own situation with other William Jordan victims, to hear their stories, hear their feelings and see how they have overcome it all through the years and how it does get better.  It’s true, time does heal all things.  I am in a better place than I was 6 months ago and certainly in a better place a year ago when the whole legal drama ended with Jordan going back to jail. That, I will say, is where my healing truly began.

I started to write my book and when it got just past the part of his first arrest, to read back on my own text messages and emails became really hard.  To analyze it all through different eyes was hard.  I had seen where I was trusting too much, loving too much, putting faith in not just one basket, but a basket full of holes.  Gaping ones.  I was able to read conversations between us where he would constantly turn things around on me.  Everything was my fault.  I misinterpreted something he said, I took something out of context, I extrapolated something the wrong way, I was reading more into something than it was, I was being too sensitive, etc, etc, etc.  He would apologize before making a back handed comment that I wouldn’t recognize in my need for forgiveness and acceptance.  So I took time off from the book.  Then last summer I decided to do something crazy like go back to school in 7 week blocks instead of 15 week semesters.  It was very writing intensive and with the kids home from school, trying to be a full time nurse, full time mom and a student on top of it, the book got further pushed to the wayside.  After 2 semesters, I was really feeling a bit overwhelmed with it all.  I realized that online learning is not my cup of tea.  It has been 10 years since I graduated college the first time, but I was married and my daughter was young.  I wasn’t working so that I could focus on school full time and my daughter was in daycare on my school days and picked up by my husband while I studied with my my group of study buddies whom I still consider sacred friends to this day.  I need a classroom, but I am a different woman now.  I work full time nights, I am a full time single mom.  My mom watches my kids on the nights and weekends that I work so I can’t manage to saddle her any more to watch the kids so that I can attend classes and also adjust my work schedule to attend classes in person.  So now school is on hold and we are going back to the book.  I NEED to complete the book.  For starters, a lot of people are asking me about it because they want to read the details that no print or television interview can ever convey because there is just not enough time.  I also wanted enough time to go by that I could also go through the healing process of the last year rather than just the whole sordid story itself.

I am dedicating the year of 2016 as a good year.  It’s going to be a year of metamorphosis and change. It’s going to be life anew on many levels: personally, internally, professionally, educationally and any other way that I can find.  I did an interview with Fox News locally for a show called Chasing News.  It airs between Philadelphia and New York and either leads into the 10pm news or at midnight. It’s a show shot on GoPro cameras and then the various producers discuss the different segments.  So on a random day at Starbucks, me and the one producer, Jessica had an hour long chat.  We’re both local and she had come across my story. In the end Jordan, who has refused every interview that has gone his way – probably because he doesn’t want to get crucified more in the media than he already has been – said he just wants to move on with his life.  That his hysterical!!!  Hopefully he will never be able to move on with another female as long as he lives because he will NEVER change his spots.  After 3 decades of conning and deceit, it’s not going to change. Perhaps he should have made better choices in life.  He has made his bed and will have to lie in his bed of consequences forever.  As if the 20+ victims in his wake will ever be able to truly move on without a scar on their heart and their psyche. As if they will ever be the whole people they were before. Yeah, good luck with that buddy.  As is typical, the male point of view was very antagonistic and judgmental about the sex by fraud law.  It’s always the same misconception: that anyone and everyone will just go willy nilly accusing people of sex by deception.  Unfortunately for the truly ignorant, the judicial system doesn’t work like that.  You will have to provide your burden of proof, your absolute proof that you were deceived, intentionally for the sake of sex.  To prove that the other person acted truly out of malicious intent.  The police are not going to go around arresting every jilted lover out there. That isn’t even the purpose nor intent of the law.  It’s to catch those who go around and essentially catfish people egregiously. Those who lie about their identity, steal another’s identity in order to be with someone and for the purpose to deceive, harm, steal another’s identity, steal their possessions, cause emotional distress up to and including symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder as some victims have experienced in the aftermath of the most severe mental manipulators. Those are the criminals that I want to get off the streets.  The people who would serve to be a psychiatrist’s dream case. So just know, you are not alone.  You are never alone. I have received upwards of 300 emails and facebook messages over the last year of men and women who have been conned in their past.  Sometimes it’s a crime of the heart and mind and others have literally lost everything.  It astounds me as to how common these kinds of crimes are but next to none are prosecuted.  I have hope that in telling people the steps I took, that some people have sought justice in their own right.  For those who couldn’t, I know what it’s like to feel helpless because that’s how I felt before the authorities got involved in my case and it started to take shape.  I can feel that feeling like it was yesterday rather than 2 years ago.  The strong urge to want to stop this reign of terror but not knowing what steps to take, where to turn and who would help.  I also told very few people because I felt so incredibly stupid for falling prey to something like that.  I felt full of shame and regret for putting my family, my children and my friends through that year of fakeness and some people endure it for years or decades.  I have lost friends because of what happened and get judged about it all of the time, but I am in a place that I just don’t give a shit.   I took back my power by giving it a voice, by giving it a name and by going public about it.  Is it for everyone?  No. Everyone has to find their own healing process whether it be through therapy, art, working out, yoga, meditation, music or shouting it loud from the rooftops.  Find what works for you and roll with it.  I hope you find your inner peace.  Below is the Fox News interview:

And The Results Are In…..

Lets start with the big news.  Ok, it’s more than big, it’s fantastic, fabulous, phenomenal!!!!! (Can you tell I’m thrilled?)  So I posted earlier that William Allen Jordan aka: Gee Jones-Jordan, Guillaume Jones-Jordan, Liam Allen, Gui Jones-Jordan, Bill Allen, Bill Jordan, Will Jordan and a host of other aliases that somehow assimilate to his real name had applied for ISP (Intensive Supervision Program) and parole one month after his sentencing back in February.  I was just aghast that he had the balls to even apply for any of it as if he felt like he didn’t deserve to be punished a single solitary day more than he had to be.  He only served 4 months in 2014 and about 2 weeks after getting out of jail his father introduced him to his next victim.  This father (and mother) who have enabled their sociopathic, psychopathic, narcissistic son his entire life by perpetuating his lies, lying to his 2 wives simultaneously and God knows who else he introduced to them as well as not correcting his lies to the women in his life.  They should be punished as accessories to his crimes, I don’t give one rat’s ass how old they are.  They have been doing it for at least 30 years and William Jordan just turned 50 while tucked away in the New Jersey State Corrections System.

I spoke to the ISP person in charge of this specific case and she informed me to send her as much information as I can, so I reached out to the other Jordan victims whom I have come to call my friends to help me keep him where he belongs.  One by one, I received letter after letter telling an abridged version of their story and why Jordan should not be allowed out on ISP.   I had also sent them the 30+ year timeline of his victims and his crimes. My following phone call was to the parole board and they told me that it was a multi-step process.  Two weeks later on an agreed date I had a phone interview (even though I offered to go to them if need be but they said by phone was just as good) with a member of the parole office who asked me a series of questions in regards to my case, Jordan himself, if there were other victims and if he would be a threat to the public if he got out.  Thankfully a lot of the questions were geared negatively towards Jordan because I could answer affirmatively to nearly every question that they asked me.  I had told them that he also applied for the ISP and that I sent them evidence and letter and asked if sending the same to the parole board would help.  The interviewer told me to send it to the case worker on my case and it would be added to the file when he came up for a hearing.  Both offices said that I would hear something in about 30 days.

Skip to almost 2 months later.  I was assuming that no news was good news, like in healthcare.  If you’re not called or sent a letter about negative results it must be ok, right?  After filming last week in New York I decided to just suck up the anxiety and call both programs to see what the status was.

First call was to the ISP program and they told me that Jordan was DENIED their program a couple of weeks ago.  I asked why I wasn’t notified that he was denied as I have been sitting anxiously the results of this and they said that it’s not in their policy to routinely send out notification of denial.  Oh, so wait until the victims call, right?  Whatever, he was denied and apparently he can NEVER apply for that program for this particular case ever again.  So no house arrest for him during this 3 year sentence.  SCORE 1 for us victims!

Second call was to the parole board and they told me that Jordan’s parole hearing was coming up on Thursday (June 10th).  I asked them if they got the evidence I had mailed a good 6 weeks prior and they said no.  I scrambled to get all of the letters in one place and emailed it off the day before the hearing and they emailed me back that they were in receipt of my information.   All day Thursday I was an absolute wreck.  It certainly didn’t help that both of my kids are on this crazy FUBAR schedule because the entire fire system blew at my daughter’s middle school which is creating half days for both of my kids with my son having school in the morning and my daughter having school all afternoon – for 2 weeks.  It’s been super hot and humid, my central air is broken and with me moving, I refuse to put a dime into fixing it.  Needless to say I’ve been a little cranky and on edge.  Plus Mercury has been in retrograde and it always screws things up. I waited until 4:30pm when I knew that it was the end of the day and called my contact at the parole board.  She said she was just about to shut everything down for the day but would check to see if Jordan’s parole hearing still went off and if the system was updated.   For the 30 seconds that felt like 30 hours, she came back and told me his parole was DENIED!!!!   I said, “what?”  She said “it’s been denied and he will not be eligible again for another 14 months.”  I resisted the urge to be super rude and scream in her ear but I thanked her profusely from the bottom of my heart and told her that she has absolutely made my day, my week, my year!  By the time he is able to come up for parole again he will have served 2/3rds of his sentence and you better be damned that I will be there to fight it again so that he serves all 3 years and maxes out.  For a year me and the other victims can breathe without anxiety, without fear, without anticipation of another victim coming forward and finding out that he has hurt someone else, stolen someone’s money, broken someone else’s heart or heaven forbid fathered another child that he will never see nor support.  Those of you who follow me on Facebook saw this news on Thursday because I couldn’t help but shout it to the heavens!

It feels really, really, really good.  Down in my soul good.  Not just that me and my family can feel safe but the other victims who have come out in the last 6 to 8 months can live in peace.  The victim from Vermont who was being stalked from jail has finally had the harassing phone calls stop.  Do I think he won’t try to go back to some of his old haunts when he gets out?  Hell yeah he will.  The ones that he thinks might have been most vulnerable.  He may try to look up his children knowing that some of them are now adults to try to manipulate his way into their lives as he is getting older and older.  I just want women out there to know that people like this are amazingly charming.  They pretend to be exactly what you want out of a person.  They emulate your likes and meld themselves.  However imagine it as a thorny vine that is entwining itself around you getting tighter and tighter.  That’s what it’s like to be in a relationship with a psychopath/sociopath/malignant narcissist.  They truly do not give 2 shits about you, but will pretend that you are their moon, stars and sunlit sky.  It’s all fake, but a really good fake.  They will kiss you goodbye and possibly call up their concurrent victim next without a second thought about you as you’re driving away in your warm and fuzzy feelings.  I didn’t see a lot of this while I was in the thick of it and I realize it now with all of the research, journals and books I have read. It’s so hard to fathom someone lacking empathy for anyone.  It’s hard to think that there are people out there walking among us who live these fake lives with these fake emotions, fake words, fake feelings, fake sincerity.  Do you know what it is?  Amazing acting.  That’s why it’s so devastating to the victim.  The actor is so good, so gifted and so cunning that the victims don’t know what hit them.  When they find out that they are conned they often tell no one which is why this seems to be a victim-less crime.  They hide in their shame and embarrassment to have fallen prey to men and women like this. They will tell their friends and family that it didn’t work out or that one broke up with the other, that they found out that the other was cheating – typical reasons to break up.  Almost never is it, I was scammed, used and emotionally/physically abused.

Victims, you DO have a voice and that voice is your strength against your actor.  Speak up!  If things have been taken from you ( money, jewelry, possessions, property) you have a case of theft by deception!  I am continuing to work on the sexual assault by fraud law in New Jersey, but there are states out there that already have them.  Your body is sacred and you have the right to give permission to someone while knowing exactly who they are.  Lying for the purpose of bedding you (and I’m not talking little white lies or aesthetics like makeup, push up bras, breast implants – be sensible people) in such an egregious way should be illegal.  Sign my petition to help me keep gathering support on my cause and keep your stories coming!  I read every single one of them and reply to every email: good, bad or indifferent.  I feel it’s important if you take even 5 minutes out of your day to send me a message, I absolutely owe you the courtesy of a reply.

Until next time….

Here We Go Again

I was approached about a week and a half ago about a follow up article being done by the Philadelphia Daily News.  They covered my case from last year and wanted to update people on what has happened since they first reported everything and I agreed.  Little did I know that this would thrust everything back into the spotlight.   Since the article appeared on the front page of the paper Tuesday,  I have done 2 radio interviews:  one for CBS and another for KYW, both out of Philadelphia and have a Skype interview scheduled for Saturday morning for Fox in Philadelphia.  I will be in NYC next week filming for a new show to debut this fall.  Detains on that to follow when I have the official word to share it. 😉

Here is the link to the Philadelphia Daily News article: Philly.com

It was also featured on LoveFraud here: LoveFraud.com

I have to be honest (not that I haven’t been to you guys), but I kind of took the last few months off of everything.  The case was done and people who were supposed to be “helping” me with this law, stabbed me in the back and it has left a very bitter taste in my mouth.  As if I didn’t have trust issues already, it makes me want to tell nobody anything lest they try to either claim it as their own or sabotage it because they believe in one thing and it’s not quite the direction I wanted to go in.  It was like being victimized by victims themselves.  Perhaps they can’t help themselves and it’s their own self defense mechanism, however they had been at this a lot longer than I have been and was looking for guidance.  I feel like this whole world of legislation and legal battles – I’m just a newbie.  I’m not an attorney but I do my research on the current laws and revisions in New Jersey as well as the laws that there are across the country and internationally.  I am HUMAN.  I can definitely tell that I have grown a lot in the last year, because comments made about me in online articles, tweets, facebook and emails used to really offend me, but I am better now at brushing a lot of it off.  I realize that most of the people making those comments are generally ignorant about my case.  They read one article and it’s just a snapshot of everything that I have gone through in the last 2.5 years, not the whole picture. One facebook commenter even admitted that she doesn’t even live in this country, let alone this state and admitted that she didn’t know how the whole judicial/legislative process worked, yet she was so against my law.  Really???   So, you were all in a tizzy over my bill and it will NEVER affect you?   Then why be mad about it?   I certainly wouldn’t knock a law I didn’t believe in if it happened, say, in Germany or Japan.  I absolutely wouldn’t bash the victim for crying out loud.   People are also still operating under the same old assumptions:  that he dumped me, that I didn’t do my research, that I made poor decisions and want all men to suffer for them and that this law will catch every liar out there.  False, false, false and false!

I will say this, yet again.  I broke things off with him the very next day after I found out the truth.  I then proceeded to set him up for 9 weeks while I gathered up evidence to support my case.  This ties into to catching every liar out there.  People think that you can just accuse people willy nilly?  Wrong!   You need some kind of evidence to back up your claims or else the police won’t even talk to you.  I had absolutely air tight evidence and yet I was constantly scrutinized and essentially prosecuted right along William Jordan.  As for research:  I researched EVERYTHING that I had on that man that I was given – email address, phone number, name, etc. I even tried to search where he said he went to school.  Nothing ever came up wrong and want to know why?  Because EVERYTHING HE TOLD ME WAS LIES!  I can’t google what I don’t know the information to and when I finally had the correct name, what I found was horrendous and confronted him the very next day.  Last is about poor decisions.  First of all, read back to the early posts of this blog and see the timeline of events.  We didn’t take our relationship physical until we were many months into the relationship and the whole “secret agent” story didn’t come out until months after that.  He didn’t pretend to have loads of money, he said he lived a simple lifestyle.  He didn’t live life with expensive things or a flashy exterior.  I was with him because he seemed like a genuinely good person but with a devil’s interior.  I was in it for the long haul preparing to get married and start a family.  I wasn’t in it for any awesome benefit other than to just be with this person and share our lives and love together.  People have commented about waiting until marriage to have sex.  Come on, it’s 2015, not 1897.  I am sure if you took a poll of couples and saw how many people has premarital sex, I am sure you would see that the numbers would probably be over 70%.  I also didn’t rush into it either, so where is the poor decision?  Why because I couldn’t be a super sleuth and find out about who he was earlier?  Compared to many victims, I got off fairly easy.  I am out one year of my life as opposed to many years or decades.

Want to know why this seems like a foreign concept to a lot of people?  Because nobody talks about it.  Victims skulk away in their shame and humiliation.  They don’t tell their friends or families.  They just tell people that they broke up with their partner and go about their lives no other answered questions.  They suffer in silence when they don’t have to.  I have received so many emails from other victims and at least 90% never told a soul what they were going through.  How sad is that?  I know I couldn’t have done it without the amazing support of my friends and family which I continue to receive.  However, the emotional toll it takes on a person is devastating.  The depression, anxiety, anger, trust issues going forward and always the self doubt and mental mutilation that people put themselves through.  If you are someone who can just encapsulate your feelings and shove it in some mental filing cabinet never to be seen again?  Congratulations, you are in the minority.  I am just trying to give victims an outlet, recourse and to know that you are NOT alone!  Not all victims are as lucky as me to of had alternative charges against Jordan that I could get him jailed for.  Not everyone loses money to where they can claim fraud or are stalked to where they can claim harassment.  A lot of these psychopaths/sociopaths are so incredibly smart and clever.  They are often pros at their game and know exactly who to target and how.  They are master manipulators and can turn any conversation around on you without you even knowing it.  Listening back on old conversations, I can see how he would so slyly turn arguments around on me and make me feel like I was at fault for everything or that it was my perception of things or my thinking was wrong.  Then they turn around and make you feel like the most cherished possession in their life. It’s emotionally horrifying to find out that all of that is a lie. The violation that accompanied it was immeasurable and THAT is the basis behind this law.

The whole process is going to take about 2 years, maybe.  The law will be revised again and again to make it palatable for lawmakers to want to lend their John Hancock to it. Oh, and rape was removed out of , the law within 3 weeks of it being introduced, so everyone is still hung up on that work even though it hasn’t been a part of the terminology since at least December.  The law is sex by fraud rather than rape by deception as people got offended over the semantics.  As I have updates, I will update you all but as of right now it’s a waiting game.  Plus I don’t want to post too much lest this info fall into the wrong, sabotaging hands.

Until next time…..