Archives

Slacking and Other Updates

Ok, I will be the first to admit, I haven’t posted an update in about forever!  So much has happened in the last few months.  As a start, I still reply to all comments that come to me here and to every email that comes to me through this site and for being diligent in sending your messages along, I thank you.  I get far less hate mail and far more support emails and messages for help or those who just want to tell their stories and know they are not alone.  I was hoping that this would be the end result at some point.  Kindred spirits all conjoining together.  I know that I felt really good to know that I wasn’t alone in my own situation with other William Jordan victims, to hear their stories, hear their feelings and see how they have overcome it all through the years and how it does get better.  It’s true, time does heal all things.  I am in a better place than I was 6 months ago and certainly in a better place a year ago when the whole legal drama ended with Jordan going back to jail. That, I will say, is where my healing truly began.

I started to write my book and when it got just past the part of his first arrest, to read back on my own text messages and emails became really hard.  To analyze it all through different eyes was hard.  I had seen where I was trusting too much, loving too much, putting faith in not just one basket, but a basket full of holes.  Gaping ones.  I was able to read conversations between us where he would constantly turn things around on me.  Everything was my fault.  I misinterpreted something he said, I took something out of context, I extrapolated something the wrong way, I was reading more into something than it was, I was being too sensitive, etc, etc, etc.  He would apologize before making a back handed comment that I wouldn’t recognize in my need for forgiveness and acceptance.  So I took time off from the book.  Then last summer I decided to do something crazy like go back to school in 7 week blocks instead of 15 week semesters.  It was very writing intensive and with the kids home from school, trying to be a full time nurse, full time mom and a student on top of it, the book got further pushed to the wayside.  After 2 semesters, I was really feeling a bit overwhelmed with it all.  I realized that online learning is not my cup of tea.  It has been 10 years since I graduated college the first time, but I was married and my daughter was young.  I wasn’t working so that I could focus on school full time and my daughter was in daycare on my school days and picked up by my husband while I studied with my my group of study buddies whom I still consider sacred friends to this day.  I need a classroom, but I am a different woman now.  I work full time nights, I am a full time single mom.  My mom watches my kids on the nights and weekends that I work so I can’t manage to saddle her any more to watch the kids so that I can attend classes and also adjust my work schedule to attend classes in person.  So now school is on hold and we are going back to the book.  I NEED to complete the book.  For starters, a lot of people are asking me about it because they want to read the details that no print or television interview can ever convey because there is just not enough time.  I also wanted enough time to go by that I could also go through the healing process of the last year rather than just the whole sordid story itself.

I am dedicating the year of 2016 as a good year.  It’s going to be a year of metamorphosis and change. It’s going to be life anew on many levels: personally, internally, professionally, educationally and any other way that I can find.  I did an interview with Fox News locally for a show called Chasing News.  It airs between Philadelphia and New York and either leads into the 10pm news or at midnight. It’s a show shot on GoPro cameras and then the various producers discuss the different segments.  So on a random day at Starbucks, me and the one producer, Jessica had an hour long chat.  We’re both local and she had come across my story. In the end Jordan, who has refused every interview that has gone his way – probably because he doesn’t want to get crucified more in the media than he already has been – said he just wants to move on with his life.  That his hysterical!!!  Hopefully he will never be able to move on with another female as long as he lives because he will NEVER change his spots.  After 3 decades of conning and deceit, it’s not going to change. Perhaps he should have made better choices in life.  He has made his bed and will have to lie in his bed of consequences forever.  As if the 20+ victims in his wake will ever be able to truly move on without a scar on their heart and their psyche. As if they will ever be the whole people they were before. Yeah, good luck with that buddy.  As is typical, the male point of view was very antagonistic and judgmental about the sex by fraud law.  It’s always the same misconception: that anyone and everyone will just go willy nilly accusing people of sex by deception.  Unfortunately for the truly ignorant, the judicial system doesn’t work like that.  You will have to provide your burden of proof, your absolute proof that you were deceived, intentionally for the sake of sex.  To prove that the other person acted truly out of malicious intent.  The police are not going to go around arresting every jilted lover out there. That isn’t even the purpose nor intent of the law.  It’s to catch those who go around and essentially catfish people egregiously. Those who lie about their identity, steal another’s identity in order to be with someone and for the purpose to deceive, harm, steal another’s identity, steal their possessions, cause emotional distress up to and including symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder as some victims have experienced in the aftermath of the most severe mental manipulators. Those are the criminals that I want to get off the streets.  The people who would serve to be a psychiatrist’s dream case. So just know, you are not alone.  You are never alone. I have received upwards of 300 emails and facebook messages over the last year of men and women who have been conned in their past.  Sometimes it’s a crime of the heart and mind and others have literally lost everything.  It astounds me as to how common these kinds of crimes are but next to none are prosecuted.  I have hope that in telling people the steps I took, that some people have sought justice in their own right.  For those who couldn’t, I know what it’s like to feel helpless because that’s how I felt before the authorities got involved in my case and it started to take shape.  I can feel that feeling like it was yesterday rather than 2 years ago.  The strong urge to want to stop this reign of terror but not knowing what steps to take, where to turn and who would help.  I also told very few people because I felt so incredibly stupid for falling prey to something like that.  I felt full of shame and regret for putting my family, my children and my friends through that year of fakeness and some people endure it for years or decades.  I have lost friends because of what happened and get judged about it all of the time, but I am in a place that I just don’t give a shit.   I took back my power by giving it a voice, by giving it a name and by going public about it.  Is it for everyone?  No. Everyone has to find their own healing process whether it be through therapy, art, working out, yoga, meditation, music or shouting it loud from the rooftops.  Find what works for you and roll with it.  I hope you find your inner peace.  Below is the Fox News interview:

Advertisements

Victory At Last!

Eleven days short of one year of finding out the truth about William Allen Jordan, there is justice at long last.  Today was sentencing day!!!   If you will recall, back on November 11, 2014, he signed and accepted the plea deal for 3 years in prison effective TODAY!   Court was supposed to start at 9am and in typical William Jordan style, he was late.  Nearly 2 hours late.  My victim’s advocate was thinking that his attorney probably holed him away in a spare room, but I know better.  It was a very chilly morning, but not as chilly as yesterday with winds in the 40 mph range making it feel like 0 degrees F. The sun was out and the snow and ice is still melting from the past couple of storms that thankfully didn’t drop a deluge of snow on us (sorry New England).  After stopping for my typical iced coffee and heading up to the courthouse to face the same judge that has seen this case all along, we were waiting for the prosecutor to show up as well as Jordan.  I have to admit, sitting in a courtroom can be pretty fascinating.  There are some really crazy people out there and unless you’re forced to sit through other proceedings, you would never realize the kind of crime that goes on around us.  Finally the prosecutor comes in and pulls me into a conference room.  He was notified by Jordan’s attorney that he had a cashier’s check for the FULL RESTITUTION AMOUNT!   He said that is VERY unprecedented.  My first thought?  Whose money is it?  I still hadn’t laid eyes on Jordan yet so I didn’t believe anything until he showed up, check in hand and it cleared.  A half hour later, my mom nudged me and said, “He’s here.”   I refused to turn to look at him.  I could just see the movement of a person in the periphery of my vision. Two cases later, our case was called.  I had submitted this long 3.5 page victim impact statement last July but had made a new one that was much shorter.  I knew that I would have to approach the court and it would be for all to hear. The judge started to hear both sides of the story from both the prosecutor and Jordan’s attorney, who tried to down play the sexual assault of a minor he committed in the UK.  Like really?  He pled GUILTY to it!!!  How are you going to downplay that he’s not a child molester?  That really burned me but I wasn’t going to get hit with contempt of court over it. The judge started to recite his past misdeeds with 9 charges in 7 jurisdictions of writing bad checks starting in 1984.  Then his convictions in the UK and years of not getting caught in the US until recently.  The judge said that his repetitive pattern of behavior represents serious offenses.  That his extensive fraud and deception to the present case is also very serious. Previous jail sentences, community services and fines had not deterred him.   His conduct was criminal and subject to punishment, given my disturbing statement as he had read my previous, long impact statement and the statements of his other victims. He was given 130 days credit for the time served from April 22nd to August 29th.  He had to pay $155 in fines plus my nearly $4400 in restitution which he did then pull out a check to give to his attorney who gave it to the prosecutor who then gave it to me with this entire transfer being on record. He also has to supply the state with a DNA sample so that any DNA cases could be compared to him in the future. He agreed to all of it and via his attorney wanted nothing but to atone for what he had done, pay me back and to truly repent (BULLSHIT!).  He also said his parents had been ill (his dad didn’t look so ill bowling a couple of months ago all smiles and personality) and that his mom had been in and out of the hospital since he was bailed out with he being her primary care taker.  This is also bullshit because his Vermont victim who still had access to his bank account said he had been near Bennington, VT for the last multiple weekends spending his money at restaurants and stores.  But that’s caring for his oh so sickly mother?  Oh and the mother he told the Vermont victim that she had died and he was coming into some big inheritance that he was going to split with her and put into a trust for her child?  I can’t believe he lied bold faced right there to his attorney and the judge.  Again, not my place to correct it and to put myself in trouble.  After all was agreed to and the appeal statement signed, he was sentenced and handcuffed, led away by the prison guard.  Within 3 hours he was listed as an inmate at the Burlington County Jail.  Home sweet home.  Within a week or so he will be sent with the other inmates who are relegated to state prison for sorting and from there he will be placed in his final facility.  That will be viewable on the New Jersey department of corrections page.  His whereabouts will be public information.  He should serve the entire 3 years of his sentence, minus those 130 days, so for 2 years and 235 days, the women of the Delaware Valley can feel safe and sound – at least from this man and only for a while.  I have NO QUALMS in my mind that he will get out and do it again.  His attorney made it sound like I needed to move on with my life and don’t get me wrong, I am moving on with my life.  But I will never stop being a thorn in this man’s ass, making it as hard as possible for him to defraud another woman in this area or anywhere.  I know it’s a futile plight, but as long as I’m bringing awareness, that’s all I can do.

Here is a photo of Jordan and his attorney while I was reading my victim’s impact statement:

54d5383dc1195.image

Here are also 2 articles that have already come out tonight about the case today:

Burlington County Times

NJ.com

Deal or No Deal???

Ok, so as of my last post, we hadn’t reached a resolution on the case of William Allen Jordan aka: Will Jordan, Gee Allen, Guillaume Allen, Gee Jones-Jordan, Bill Jordan, William Jordon, Liam Allen, William Jones and probably others that I’m either forgetting or just am not aware of.  Needless to say it’s variations on a theme.  So apparently either he nor his attorney did NOT appreciate my public awareness of this case (whatever) but out of courtesy I did not post as frequently as I used to because frankly I just didn’t want to piss someone off who could do me a favor before this is all said and done, i.e. his attorney and my prosecutor.  Now at the first status conference with the prosecutor on my case, he said we would give this a 3 strikes and we’re out frame of mind:  basically offer him 3 chances at a plea deal an if he doesn’t take it, screw it, we go to trial and our case is super strong between my emails, text messages (from both Jordan himself and “Tom/Marcus” from the UK from a Washington DC phone number), and then video footage that I secretly shot while wired with hidden cameras in the 2 months that it took me to build my case to the point that they had enough burden of proof to issue an arrest warrant.  New Jersey is a one party consent state meaning as long as one party consents (me) and you are being recorded (him), you don’t need the other party’s permission to record them and use it against them.   He is lucky I haven’t posted my hours and hours of footage on YouTube, but trust me, his exes have seen some of the footage.

I know, you want to know.  Did he take the plea deal this past Monday?   Well……

10363089_10152553627908790_3013414226531170663_n

YES!!!!   Yes he pled guilty and took the plea deal of 3 years in state prison, restitution of a minimum of $4383, a lifetime no contact to me and my kids and he was slammed with a $15,000 fine!   WIN!!!!    At first the prosecutor said that there was not going to be a resolution that day and I reminded him about his 3 strikes rule.  He said he didn’t recall saying that, but he is at a variety of cases on a weekly/daily basis and mine only came along once a month, so it’s easy for him to forget, but for me this is my ONLY case and I didn’t forget such a thing.  He apparently thought about it and went back to Jordan’s attorney and said that nothing will change in a month – just the fact the deal is off the table and why don’t we just get it done and over with.  Pressed with this info, he accepted the deal!  I really didn’t know if he would drag it out knowing that trial dates would be not coming until a minimum of April, then the trial and then sentencing could linger another 6-8 months, so it would have given him more time out of jail now, but he would be facing 5 years in jail as opposed to the 3 we were offering him.  Unfortunately, without revoking his bail, I couldn’t get him remanded to jail immediately and sentencing was set up for February 6th which I was told he would be sentenced and taken away immediately to jail.   Yes!!!  He had to admit everything that he had done to me.  He had to state his real name, his real age and admit that he did defraud me and take my money by impersonating a government official from the United Kingdom.  Seriously, to hear him admit that to a courtroom full of witnesses, on the record with my mom by my side crying for me to also hear him admit his crimes:  it was priceless.   I will never forget that moment and wish it was video recorded so that I could hear it again and again and again.  He admitted it.  I have been on cloud 9 ever since.

The only downside is that there have been 2 victims since he got out of jail on August 29th.  One of which he met at a bowling alley that his dad bowls on a league with and having known the father, she figured he was an upstanding guy himself.  It wasn’t until the last article on the front page of a local newspaper that her friend tipped her off to the truth and she used Google to find everything she could about him and it led her to me.  I have met her and she is absolutely lovely.  Just a wonderful person who got sucked into his world of lies, of which his father never corrected – even down to him saying he was sent to the UK to live with distant relatives as a child due to an abusive mother.  She of course dumped him the next day and hasn’t heard from him ever since.  Then there was another young girl out of the state of New Jersey who said she met him on eharmony 3 years ago and started a physical relationship with him this year:  basically after I found out about his ass and he probably knew that the thing with me was going nowhere, so on to plan B.  Unless he was setting her up as his escape clause but got arrested before he could fulfill his full plan.  He got out of jail and resumed contact with her and has the poor girl believing his mom died and he is inheriting $100,000 of which he is setting aside a trust for her and her young daughter.  I am so sorry honey, but there is NO money.  First of all, his mother isn’t dead.   I got confirmation of this from an extended family member.  Secondly, She has EXTENSIVE medical bills.  I have seen them with my own eyes and have them on my video footage.  If she died all bills would have to be paid first, the house would probably be paid off (which they have only owned for 10 years and God knows if they have remortgaged the house at any point).  As of now the house is worth about $60,000 less than what was paid for it.  Then Jordan has 2 sisters, so whatever was leftoever would have to be split 4 ways (his dad, him and his 2 sisters) and she may have a will that leaves everything to her husband.  She isn’t dead, so there is no worry.  Do you know how many time his mom has been “gravely ill”, “hospitalized” and other horrible things?   Many, many, many times.  He told me she was in the hospital and then there was a receipt in my car for Burlington Coat Factory the week before he was arrested buying little boy’s Nike sneakers.  Probably with my money.  He probably paid your bills with MY hard earned money and that pisses me off.  Whatever money he has given you since he got out of jail was probably at the expense of another woman.  I wholly intend on giving the ring back if I find out that some other poor woman was scammed out of a large amount of money at once because frankly, I couldn’t keep it.  It’s like blood money.  I didn’t earn it and neither did he – not by respectable means.  He is working at a department store.  He isn’t a nurse.   Do you know where he got that?  His victim from 4 years ago – she was a pediatric nurse.  He tends to emulate whatever he has at the moment and be a chameleon to adapt to whatever the woman needs/wants.  He has no drivers license, so why do you think he took a bus to go see you?  Because he has no car.  I’m a nurse and I make about $35 an hour.  Don’t you think a man living with his parents could afford a car?  He is probably stealing the identiy of you or your child and you are too blind to see it.  Unless you wake up, you are going to learn a very hard and very expensive lesson because he will take you for all that you’ve got or he is using you for your remote location to try to flee to and he will try to get you pregnant which will bind you to him forever and he will leave.   Whatever he is spouting, it’s all lies.  He is incapable of telling the truth because he is a psychopath/sociopath who has been doing this for over 30 years.  People keep telling me you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.   Well you have all of the information to ditch this loser and once it’s on Dateline (still waiting for an air date and they were at court this past Monday), then the whole country will know.

Moving on, the rape by deception law that I helped to craft goes to the New Jersey Assembly tomorrow, November 13th!   I have seen the draft that is being introduced and I love it.  I will have more information on that as it comes along.  You do NOT have to be a victim and one person CAN make a difference.  FInd your power ladies and gentlemen and get out of an abusive and unfulfilling relationship.  Happiness is out there.  I have finally opened myself up to dating again and it’s been amazing.  I am happy with myself, my family and my life – at last.

Here are some articles published this week:

LoveFraud.com article

Burlington County Times (which made the front page – photo below)

10153870_10152551653778790_11722306390363690_n

New Laws, New Lyrics, New Me

Boy did I have a crazy scheduled day!

6:30: up and make sure the kids are up, faces washed, teeth brushed, breakfast had, maybe a meltdown or two before they’re off to school by 8:15.

10:30: at the doctor’s for myself with 2 days of a cough and just feeling crummy again.

11:30:  Leave the doctors with a partial pneumonia diagnosis, antibiotics, a fist full of helpful tips and off change clothes.

1pm: Meeting with my Assemblyman Troy Singleton to start the work on a rape/sex by deception/fraud law.  It was very promising and he seems really very much in support of it.  It’s fabulous to finally be moving on this!

2pm: grab a few dinner things before going home to change clothes

3pm: son is picked up from kindergarten, home to help with any homework, see papers that come home and reinforce learnings of the week.

5pm have dinner with the kids before….

6pm back to school night at the middle school (elementary was last night)

8:30: drop my daughter off to home and run off to Target (after a Starbucks run)

10: unload car, wind down with my mom,

10: to unpack things and then call the ex hubby to tell him about the events of the day.

11:30 start this blog……   LOL

 

I heard a song on the radio today that I hadn’t heard in a while and it really says my last year in a song.   Here is the video and lyrics.

 

 

JAR OF HEARTS, by Christina Perri

I know I can’t take one more step towards you
‘Cause all that’s waiting is regret
Don’t you know I’m not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the mostI learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are?
Runnin’ ’round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You’re gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don’t come back for me
Who do you think you are?

I hear you’re asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

And I’ve learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are?
Runnin’ ’round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You’re gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don’t come back for me
Who do you think you are?

And it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
‘Cause you broke all your promises
And now you’re back
You don’t get to get me back

And who do you think you are?
Runnin’ ’round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You’re gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don’t come back for me
Don’t come back at all

And who do you think you are?
Runnin’ ’round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
Tearing love apart
You’re gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don’t come back for me
Don’t come back at all

Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are?