Tag Archive | sex by deception

Slacking and Other Updates

Ok, I will be the first to admit, I haven’t posted an update in about forever!  So much has happened in the last few months.  As a start, I still reply to all comments that come to me here and to every email that comes to me through this site and for being diligent in sending your messages along, I thank you.  I get far less hate mail and far more support emails and messages for help or those who just want to tell their stories and know they are not alone.  I was hoping that this would be the end result at some point.  Kindred spirits all conjoining together.  I know that I felt really good to know that I wasn’t alone in my own situation with other William Jordan victims, to hear their stories, hear their feelings and see how they have overcome it all through the years and how it does get better.  It’s true, time does heal all things.  I am in a better place than I was 6 months ago and certainly in a better place a year ago when the whole legal drama ended with Jordan going back to jail. That, I will say, is where my healing truly began.

I started to write my book and when it got just past the part of his first arrest, to read back on my own text messages and emails became really hard.  To analyze it all through different eyes was hard.  I had seen where I was trusting too much, loving too much, putting faith in not just one basket, but a basket full of holes.  Gaping ones.  I was able to read conversations between us where he would constantly turn things around on me.  Everything was my fault.  I misinterpreted something he said, I took something out of context, I extrapolated something the wrong way, I was reading more into something than it was, I was being too sensitive, etc, etc, etc.  He would apologize before making a back handed comment that I wouldn’t recognize in my need for forgiveness and acceptance.  So I took time off from the book.  Then last summer I decided to do something crazy like go back to school in 7 week blocks instead of 15 week semesters.  It was very writing intensive and with the kids home from school, trying to be a full time nurse, full time mom and a student on top of it, the book got further pushed to the wayside.  After 2 semesters, I was really feeling a bit overwhelmed with it all.  I realized that online learning is not my cup of tea.  It has been 10 years since I graduated college the first time, but I was married and my daughter was young.  I wasn’t working so that I could focus on school full time and my daughter was in daycare on my school days and picked up by my husband while I studied with my my group of study buddies whom I still consider sacred friends to this day.  I need a classroom, but I am a different woman now.  I work full time nights, I am a full time single mom.  My mom watches my kids on the nights and weekends that I work so I can’t manage to saddle her any more to watch the kids so that I can attend classes and also adjust my work schedule to attend classes in person.  So now school is on hold and we are going back to the book.  I NEED to complete the book.  For starters, a lot of people are asking me about it because they want to read the details that no print or television interview can ever convey because there is just not enough time.  I also wanted enough time to go by that I could also go through the healing process of the last year rather than just the whole sordid story itself.

I am dedicating the year of 2016 as a good year.  It’s going to be a year of metamorphosis and change. It’s going to be life anew on many levels: personally, internally, professionally, educationally and any other way that I can find.  I did an interview with Fox News locally for a show called Chasing News.  It airs between Philadelphia and New York and either leads into the 10pm news or at midnight. It’s a show shot on GoPro cameras and then the various producers discuss the different segments.  So on a random day at Starbucks, me and the one producer, Jessica had an hour long chat.  We’re both local and she had come across my story. In the end Jordan, who has refused every interview that has gone his way – probably because he doesn’t want to get crucified more in the media than he already has been – said he just wants to move on with his life.  That his hysterical!!!  Hopefully he will never be able to move on with another female as long as he lives because he will NEVER change his spots.  After 3 decades of conning and deceit, it’s not going to change. Perhaps he should have made better choices in life.  He has made his bed and will have to lie in his bed of consequences forever.  As if the 20+ victims in his wake will ever be able to truly move on without a scar on their heart and their psyche. As if they will ever be the whole people they were before. Yeah, good luck with that buddy.  As is typical, the male point of view was very antagonistic and judgmental about the sex by fraud law.  It’s always the same misconception: that anyone and everyone will just go willy nilly accusing people of sex by deception.  Unfortunately for the truly ignorant, the judicial system doesn’t work like that.  You will have to provide your burden of proof, your absolute proof that you were deceived, intentionally for the sake of sex.  To prove that the other person acted truly out of malicious intent.  The police are not going to go around arresting every jilted lover out there. That isn’t even the purpose nor intent of the law.  It’s to catch those who go around and essentially catfish people egregiously. Those who lie about their identity, steal another’s identity in order to be with someone and for the purpose to deceive, harm, steal another’s identity, steal their possessions, cause emotional distress up to and including symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder as some victims have experienced in the aftermath of the most severe mental manipulators. Those are the criminals that I want to get off the streets.  The people who would serve to be a psychiatrist’s dream case. So just know, you are not alone.  You are never alone. I have received upwards of 300 emails and facebook messages over the last year of men and women who have been conned in their past.  Sometimes it’s a crime of the heart and mind and others have literally lost everything.  It astounds me as to how common these kinds of crimes are but next to none are prosecuted.  I have hope that in telling people the steps I took, that some people have sought justice in their own right.  For those who couldn’t, I know what it’s like to feel helpless because that’s how I felt before the authorities got involved in my case and it started to take shape.  I can feel that feeling like it was yesterday rather than 2 years ago.  The strong urge to want to stop this reign of terror but not knowing what steps to take, where to turn and who would help.  I also told very few people because I felt so incredibly stupid for falling prey to something like that.  I felt full of shame and regret for putting my family, my children and my friends through that year of fakeness and some people endure it for years or decades.  I have lost friends because of what happened and get judged about it all of the time, but I am in a place that I just don’t give a shit.   I took back my power by giving it a voice, by giving it a name and by going public about it.  Is it for everyone?  No. Everyone has to find their own healing process whether it be through therapy, art, working out, yoga, meditation, music or shouting it loud from the rooftops.  Find what works for you and roll with it.  I hope you find your inner peace.  Below is the Fox News interview:

A 24 hour City Girl

Several weeks ago I was contacted by this burgeoning show out of New York City who came across this blog and had ready my story and like most people were flabbergasted to read the ordeal that I’ve had to go through the last 2 years with William Jordan the whirlwind romance, the “secret life”, the money, the engagement and then me finding the truth. After that was court date after court date, uncovering more victims and finally his sentencing.  It’s been a really long and emotionally taxing two years to say the least, but I digress.  So they invited me to be one of their first guests.  They explained to me what the show was about and it was to keep American’s families safe by profiling other people’s cautionary tales.  I am more than willing to tell my story from the rooftops, mountaintops, skyscraper tops – anywhere that may prevent other victims or have victims get out of these wholly toxic relationships that can damage some people irreparibly depending on how long the deceit and the extent of the lies that were told.  It makes my heart so happy when I receive emails from people who come to me and thank me for telling my story because they feel inspired or empowered to get out, to try to prosecute their aggressors.  Not all cases are as cut and dry as mine was where I had the theft by deception very locked up and I was just praying that the other charges stuck because the more charges there were, the more time he got.  To keep that man off the streets away from the general public, especially single mom’s that he is NOT preying on gives me great peace in my soul. So they wanted to tell my story on their show which is hosted by Paul Viollis who had worked his way through the New York District Attorney’s Office of Criminal Court.  He is a trained profiler and has been the CEO of Corporate Risk Consulting.  Needless to say, a very varied and impressive background.  He has been doing podcasts called The Security Brief and now it’s being taken into a syndicated show that starts airing in a few weeks.  After a lot of phone calls, email exchanges of information and setting dates, I was off to the Big Apple for about 24 hours to film for the show.  Needless to say they were just so amazing to me, my mom and several other victims who came with me, appeared by skype or by telephone.  It gave me an additional place to tell my story and for people to recognize red flags that I will admit I was too blinded by love and blind faith that things would improve, that “Liam” would finally come through for us and eveything would be ok between us. He always had these lofty promises of how great our life would be after x, y, z happened and would assure me that through our problems were front loaded, our lives would be amazing when everything finally fell into place, which of course they never did.

So after a tummy bug from what I think was spoiled Chinese food from the night before and a lot of pepto bismol later, we were off to NY via car service (that never gets old!).  Here are some of my views traveling up the NJ Turnpike:

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One World Trade Center, whose observation deck opened just this past Friday.  Having been up this way all my life, I still can’t get over the difference in the skyline without the twin towers there.

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We waited a good 30+ minutes in line just to go through the Lincoln Tunnel.  Private drivers have the patience of Job!

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The USS Intrepid museum – Intrepid means “fearless”.  It was absolutely appropriate for my reason to be in the city.

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Stop at the Hotel Belleclaire which is at 77th street and Broadway.  It was a block from the Beacon Theater, Central Park, The Museum of Natural History.  Much more of a residential area on the upper West Side than midtown.

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After a lousy night’s sleep, I was dressed to impress!

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Their greenroom was comfy, but not green.  It was blue.  🙂

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Sign on the inside of their green room.  I guess for those who travel so extensively to remember what town they were in.  Not that you can ever forget NYC!

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Myself and the show host Paul Viollis after we filmed the show.  Such a consummate gentlemen.  Kept giving me encouragement every commercial break and his staff couldn’t have been lovelier.

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Then of course I had to treat us to some Gray’s Papaya hot dogs!  They are world famous and referenced in a ton of movies.  I was NOT disappointed.  Their pina colada drink is divine and very refreshing.  We waanted the coconut champagne but they were out.  Boo hiss….   There was an Insomnia Cookie around the corner that we wanted to check out but alas didn’t.  There was also a 24 hour bakery on the next block with some of the most decadent fruit tarts I had ever seen.  Of course intentions are always well but reality doesn’t quite fit in there.

I am so thankful that 3 other victims could join me on the show.  Mary Turner Thomson and one of the children she bore with William Jordan appeared by Skype out of Scotland.  Another victim “Liz” appeared in shillouette and then one more “Ava” (who couldn’t get out of work) was there by phone.  I hung out with “Liz” the night before.  We had talked on the phone, excchanged phone numbers, emails and such but we never met face to face.  Let me say she is a kindred spirit!  We connected right away with our common job of nurses, children and of course William Jordan who she knew as Gui Jones.  He had pretended to be a pediatric resident at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia.  He would be there in hospital issued scrubs and have lunch with her and then they’d go their separate ways.  The relationship between her and Jordan with my relationship overlapped for about the first 6 months.  Then he disappeared off the planet and she never heard from him again until she picked up a fluke night shift for a friend, was getting dressed and sat on her remote which tuned into Dateline on NBC and she saw his face.  She was in absolute shock and we connected that night.  Her and I think that he has a “type” as we’re all amazing, strong women and good mothers.  A psychologist would have a field day trying to crack that man’s mind and why he does what he does.

My mom and I had dinner at Bettola which is on Amsterdam in ther upper West Side.  It was a little chilly for al fresco dining, so we went inside.  I had the pasta with the peccorino romano sauce and fresh black pepper.  It was light and delicious.  My mom had a spinach fetucchini that had sausage and peas in a light lemon basil sauce.  They were to die for.

The show, called The Security Brief, will be airing in syndication starting June 29th.  My show was the 4th one ever filmed yet, so I would assume it would be the 4th story to air which sould put me at July 2nd.  I was told it could be on Bravo, Lifetime, and other stations.  I will keep you all updated of course when I have the official word.

It was truly amazing to have those other girls there with me.  Liz and Ava had never spoken publically about their stories and I hope that it gave them some peace, a feeling of accomplishment and empowerment that they are potentially helping other men and women out there who may be in relationships like that and need to get out!  Or people who didn’t know that they could prosecute.  I have helped a few people start their cases just by telling them what evidence I had amassed and what channels I had to go through in order to get someone to take the case and how hard I had to ride the prosecutor to get a modicum of justice out of the system.  They call me their hero and I call them mine.  I love the mutual admiration that we have and that we can have conversations that nearly nobody else on the earth could possibly understand except for us victims.  I was just smiling ear to ear during their segments.  Ladies, I am PROUD of you!

I love New York.  If I had a really good income, I could move then in a heartbeat. I love the vibe, the little intricate stores and restaurants and the fact that there is ALWAYS something going on, even if it’s just people watching.

So needless to say I will keep everyone updated on the show and I was notified by Troy Singleton’s office that our bill was not on the agenda for next week’s judicial hearing meetings.  I also found out that there is this fraudulent imposter has been using my name all over her blog in orter to attempt to bolster her own image in this process when in reality she has NONE.  I am sorry I ever met her, talked to her, told her anything.  She is hell bent in stealing my law from me and she doens’t even live in the state of NJ nor is she Troy’s constituent like I am.  Her suggestions end up going to the round recycle bin and that’s about it.  She has a blog post up asking for the public’s input on what to change the name to.  I have been in touch with Troy’s office since that I was brought up to my attnetion and they said she calls and they just uh-huh her to death.  She is sick, twisted and convulted by constantly referencing my name and Jordan’s crime, but I really want her to keep my name out of her mouth and out of her blog.  I see a cease desist letter coming soon.

Until next time….

Hullabaloo Over Rape By Deception

Ok everyone CALM DOWN.   Somehow the law that I had been working on with my local Assemblyman Troy Singleton got leaked out to the media and then it spread like wildfire across the internet but very few of those news sources actually came to me or Troy Singleton for a comment or information about a back story.  Someone only minimally involved made some comments but it really did the law NO BENEFIT and it’s in danger of being lost in a committee if any even picks it up thus losing it before it even takes off.  Things are done in certain orders in certain ways for a reason.  We wanted to get a little further in this process before going really public with it and because of the “well-meaning” intentions of a few people (or a group who just want to see this buried away), it’s done a great disservice.

I went to some websites that carried the “news” (I refuse to plug them here) I read some of the comments and carried out some banter with some of the people who were making comments to the various articles.  In a local Trenton paper, in the morning there were 46 comments and by the afternoon there was over 400.  I had to work Monday night so I only participated for a couple of hours, but I wrote to some of the writers of the articles and told them the back story and some of them then had a better idea of what the law was about.

Going to the comments, some of the most scathing comments were of course made by men and were mainly about 2 things;   looks and wealth.   They would say that women who wear push up bras, have breast implants, wear make up, have extensions/weaves or wear wigs should be subject to prosecution or that it’s a “gold diggers law” meaning a woman thinks she’s getting a man with  money and really he’s living in mommy’s basement.   Ok people, that is NOT what the law is about.  What in the hell happened to our morality in this world?  Since when is it ok to lie to people to sleep with them?  It’s not about LOOKS you self-centered, materialistic people.  It’s about getting involved into a relationship, and wholly deceiving the other person.  Not a one night stand kind of thing, but where either a man or woman believes that they have entered into a rewarding, fulfilling relationship and find out that their partner is a complete farce – kind of like in my case with William Jordan and his 10,000 aliases.  In my case I spent over a year of my life with a man where nothing he told me was true.  We were planning a future, a wedding, a child, moving in together and my life was completely turned upside down by the Mount Everest pile of lies.  The ONLY thing real about him was his appearance.  I gave my affirmative permission to Liam Allen, not William Allen Jordan.   I gave permission of my body to the man I thought I would be spending my future with, not the con artist, pedophile, bigamist that I found out he was.

Some people commented that I had to have been incredibly stupid and “buyer beware”.  Um, I did my research – repeatedly.  Phone numbers, addresses, email addresses, versions of the email, the name I had, any inkling of information that I had – I researched it all the time, but only ever had pieces of a convoluted puzzle. it wasn’t until I had his REAL name that the puzzle pieces fit together to make the whole picture.  He was so good and cunning at his lies, had plausible excuses for anything and everything.  I’m not some desperate whore who just sleep with anyone and everyone.  Get real, people.  I am not out to have every white lie telling person arrested for rape by deception, but there certainly needs to be a law out there that helps people who ended up in situations like mine – extreme situations.   Troy Singleton and I are still tweaking the bill to get it just right, but it certainly didn’t deserve the ignorant response that was garnered.  I would have expected a more liberal state like New Jersey to have had a better response.   It’s shocking that more conservative states like Tennessee and Alabama can pass such laws, but NJ has a problem with it?  It is because NJ is wrought with people who are just serial liars?  Who the hell knows, but the backlash was absolutely unnecessary.  One of the few people who actually came to me, was the associated press and the following article was published in San Francisco..

In addition NO WHERE is this law meant to take away, demean or diminish what victims of violent sexual assault/rape have experienced.  This law is not meant to even align itself like it – it’s just terminology.  I suffered (and still do) suffer nightmares, have trust issues and still experience paranoid on a fairly regular basis.  I feel like i was raped repeatedly over the course of 14 months instead of one violent experience and I cannot get my sexual sanctity back from that man who did this to me knowing damn well what he was doing and who he was as well as what he was portraying himself to be.

If ANYONE has any questions or concerns about this law, I am not a hidden person.  I can be found on various social medias and also through this blog.  There is a contact me form, use it.

Arraignment Day and the Counter Offer

I have been waiting for this day for weeks. Maybe months. The day William Jordan was arraigned officially on the charges that will actually stick to him. I knew going into it that the prosecutor was going to offer a plea deal of 4 years in state prison (of the 3-5 he is eligible for under my charges), a no contact order and restitution, which I am well aware that I’ll never see a dime of, but it’s just there for the sake of the possibility. The prosecutor was on vacation all of last week so the issues that I’ve had with the “miscommunication” had been shelved all week-long until today. I was having immense anxiety this morning as my phone calls went unanswered. I knew more than one media outlet would be there today, so I grabbed an iced coffee and headed out to the courthouse an hour early to talk to some people in advance. Once the courtroom was opened and everyone filed in, I chose my seat carefully. I knew there was a camera crew there, but I also wanted to not be in the eye view of where Will Jordan would be. I didn’t want to be behind the prosecutor’s table where he could look towards his attorney and catch a view of me over her shoulder. This way if I was behind him, he would have to blatantly turn around to see me and that would avoid any attempt at eye contact. In those minutes that I was sitting there, I’ll admit, I kind of lost it. I could just feel the emotion boiling up and I couldn’t control the tears that came. I hate any possibility of seeing him, of being in the same room, sharing even air space with that evil man. I am so thankful my mom was there and she held my hand as mom’s do and just told me that I was going to be ok, that everything was ok. She helped to keep me grounded in that moment and I reigned it all in and held it together. I wasn’t going to give anyone the satisfaction that he can still get to me.

My victim’s advocate came out to see me and asked if I wanted to talk to the prosecutor prior to the case. Of course while we were talking, the case was called, but without the prosecutor, they moved on to other cases until we came out. He told me that Jordan’s attorney wanted to counter offer something so appallingly ridiculous that I rejected it before he could get the entire offer out of his mouth: 364 days in county jail and a lifetime no contact rule that if he violated it, he could end up arrested again. Not only did that get a vehement no, but a HELL NO. I would rather he do the jail time and risk the contact with me than to let him out after such a short period of time so that he could hurt someone else quicker. I told the prosecutor, and he agreed with me that we would NOT settle for any deal that was less than 4 years. The prosecutor will only tolerate 2 more status conferences after today before demanding a trial and then Jordan can end up with 5 years instead of the 4 that we’re offering. Hey I have hours and hours of basic confessions on his crimes, so if he wants his own word vomit coming back to haunt him in front of 12 jurors and a courtroom full of spectators and reports, well please be my guess. The prosecutor told the judge today that there is this additional discovery that they had not yet acquired from me but that it was there and that they could acquire it within the next week or two. The prosecutor also assured me that he felt absolutely confident in all of our evidence that it would be a fairly slam dunk case. I feel the same way because I backed up so many old conversations, emails and was able to provide the bank records of the various bank transfers that occurred. That coupled with the audio and video I have? I have no idea how he nor his public defender can even think that he has a defensible case. Seriously? He has a long history of defrauding people for decades, what on earth ground does he have to stand on that doesn’t equate quicksand? None. I don’t know if he was waiting to see my hand of if he was just being his typical psychopathic/sociopathic self and trying to control everything around him: controlling my time, the prosecutor’s time, his own attorney’s time. At the end of the day, he didn’t take the deal, he pled not guilty and we’ll reconvene in a month.

I spoke with a couple of members of the media afterwards, notified Mary immediately of what transpired in the courtroom so that she could have immediate answers and she is also 5 hours ahead of me. I was getting out of the courthouse at 3:30pm my time which was 8:30pm her time. I always credit her with giving me my strength – or at least being the foundation for my strength in going forward with my case. The fact that she had the strength to be so public about her story – I would never have known the truth if she hadn’t made that choice. She takes criticism (as I have the last few months) with absolute grace and dignity. She doesn’t let harsh comments get to her. Her story allows me to go forward and keep pounding at Jordan and to not let myself get too down about some setbacks because I need to keep forward motion. I kept myself really busy over the weekend so that I couldn’t reflect on what was going on today and I had a chance to self reflect over the last 6 months since I found out the truth about Jordan. I think of the hot mess that I was in February through April and how every day was so stress riddled and how full of immense emotions I was then to the relief I felt after the arrest. I’ve really had a good 3.5 months to just be. I have also learned that I can’t do all things and be all things to all people all of the time. I needed to let a few things go to the wayside such as writing my book and working on my law. I needed to be a mom, work full-time and work on this case. I needed to be present while the kids were off for the summer. My son starts kindergarten this fall and I know that I can NEVER get this time back from them and will not allow Jordan to rob anymore time away from them than he already has. So I had a girl’s night with my good friend on Friday, took my daughter to the movies on Saturday and then went to Home Depot for supplies to build a firepit in the back yard. Sunday I took my son to a birthday party and then had a night out with great company afterwards. I refuse to let life stop or be paused because of Will Jordan. He robbed my daughter of 2 One Direction concerts last year, so what did I do? Got her One Direction tickets for this Thursday night in Philadelphia. I am going to make right all of the things that he did to her and she will not suffer. For the disappointments that he has given her, I’m going to turn them around. I want to continue to show my children that shit things can happen to you, but you can pick yourself up, turn yourself around, dust yourself off and keep moving. Yes, It’s ok to be mad, be sad, be angry but as long as you don’t stay in that spot, that’s what matters. I hope that I inspire her, inspire my son when he is older. Make them stronger people and less prone to ever be victims. I hope that In inspire someone else out there in the blogosphere to maybe get out of an abusive relationship or have the strength to get away from someone who may be manipulating them. It’s ok to be scared, it’s ok to cry, it’s ok to shout. Healing does come. For me it’s still coming. I wonder how I’ll be 6 months from now. Certainly in a much better place than now. I would LOVE to hope that this jerk will just take the damn plea deal and stop jerking me around because if he wants to fight it, by all means, I’ll go toe to toe with him and he will lose big time. I want to start working on my sex by deception law, but I want to be able to focus 100% on it and I also want to keep working on my book. I keep taking notes and journaling in short spurts. It will come eventually. This period will pass. I know it. More William Jordan victims may come forward. There may be new ones that come along once he gets out of jail (it’s inevitable). I’ll be here to support whomever comes along, past, present or future. Mary Turner Thomson and other victims have been a great source of support to me and I intend to pay that forward. In the meantime, this girl is going to keep moving steps forward and fewer steps backwards. Until next time……